Pac-Man

The Pac-Man is in the fold boys and girls to the criticism of American media everywhere lauding the deal as a classic Bungle maneuver that will disrupt team chemistry or end in arrest. I can tell you right now that if the Bengals do not win the AFC north it will not be because Adam Jones disrupted team dynamics but instead will be due to the fact that Carson Palmer could not score points. While most describe all of his character concerns, I think the larger issue is if Pacman is an adequate football player anymore. His 2 year deal makes one think the Bengals think that he can be more than a small contributor but his departure from Dallas was more a product of poor football skills than character concerns.

Besides adding much needed depth at the cornerback position, he probably also serves as a hopeful insurance policy in the case that we will be unable to retain Joseph or Hall after their rookie contracts expire. Joseph certainly knows that his talents will demand top dollar in the free agent market and the Bengals have a history of not making those huge deals as was seen with Steinbach and Housh. If Jones plays up to his considerable potential, we have just signed a former number 6 pick in the draft at a bargain price. If he sucks, he has to be able to do as much David Jones.

From the Shipley to the Wall

The Hobgoblin has been slobbering over the latest draft in Bengaldom mostly because of their keen awareness of fashion sense. He states, "All wore suits and ties and the easy air of players from the big time that had sat through it all before but knew how important this day is. Good players can smell competition and they knew they were getting a heavy whiff." I have a whiff of something: it's called a stupid ass crap paragraph that tells us absolutely nothing about the players we drafted. If they showed up in workout gear we would have heard something like "Good players know that there is no time to rest. To be the best, you have to work harder than the rest."

I'm not going to grade the draft because we don't really know anything about these players until 5 years from now so it's not worth the time or the energy. I can say I am happy with the picks and optimistic that a lot of these players can make an impact and add depth to a lot of positions.

So let's get down to some of the well dressed men of 2010.

Jermaine Gresham: Stud. Big athletic dude with great hands and workmanlike disposition. To read more click here. Hobgoblin said that he changed Oklahoma. I think Oklahoma changed him.

Carlos Dunflop: Dunlap's scouting report sounds like Michael Johnson 2.0. He passes the proverbial look test which is like seeing a girl and knowing she's attractive. You just don't know if she's gonna burn you with Chlamydia. What everybody says is that he's an athletic monster and at times looked like the best player on the field but at other times it was difficult to tell if he was trying. The classic description is top 10-15 talent with bottom half motivation. He had 19.5 sacks at Florida in 2 seasons so he obviously can be productive. He added, "My goal is to get a sack against every team I play against that passed on me,” he said. “And I want to compete for NFL Rookie Defensive Player of the Year." Well, guess what Carlos: everybody passed on you at least once so you need to get a sack every game.

Jordan Shipley: Hobgoblin describes Shipley as a poor man's Wes Welker. That means he's short and dynamic and will disappear in the Bratkowski system. Carson Harang will be high and outside with most of his passes. I think his arrival could mean a practice squad destination for Quan Cosby as he can also contribute on special teams.

Brandon Ghee: Ghee is a much needed addition and can hopefully fill the nickel role. He was the fastest corner in the draft and Marvin Lewis described him as Jonathon Joseph-ish. For all of our sakes, I hope this is true. He is a physical corner as is seen when he knocks out CJ Spiller.

So Gresham, So Clean

The first round for the NFL draft is done and the Bengals did something uncharacteristic for the organization and drafted tight end Jermaine Gresham. Gresham has been the consensus best tight end in the draft and by far the most well rounded of the class. When Gresham plays, he has been a stud excelling as one of Sam Bradford's primary targets. He's an athletic beast at 6'6 250 lbs and runs a 4.7. He is a matchup nightmare for linebackers and safeties alike. What he represents is another weapon for Carson Palmer and should provide that big red zone threat the team only had in Chris Henry. Basically, Carson is out of excuses and needs to put up or shut up but that's material for another article.

Looking at the draft, the Bengals made the right pick here. I personally was hoping that safety terror Earl Thomas would fall but he was gone and the Mike Brown refrained from his ever ending quest to save lost souls by avoiding Dez Bryant. Gresham needs to come in and start right away.

While it is clear that he was the right pick at the right time, that does not mean it comes without any question marks. He has not played a snap in essentially a year and a half and has been rehabbing a torn ACL. Fortunately, all the medical experts have cleared him and he appears to have not lost any speed after the procedure. That being said, medical questions aren't the only ones that surround Gresham.

The Hobgoblin and Bratkowski will have you believe that he played in a pro style offense. I think that's because he hails from Oklahoma which is a big school they think runs traditional plays. They failed to realize that the Sooners run a spread that featured Bradford typically in the gun locking on to a primary receiver and delivering it. Sure, he had his hand on the ground more than Chase Coffman but he was standing up more than they'd lead on.

In fact, the Hobgoblin actually says that the staff is hoping that Gresham/Coffman is a younger version of Kelly/Utecht. You have got to be kidding me! That is quite frankly laughable. Kelly's best year was 31 catches and Utecht was never the pass catcher he was billed as. Utecht recorded more albums than he caught balls.

If Brat can develop a decent scheme, Gresham should open the passing game considerably. What we can all hope for is that he abuses linebackers and safeties opening Chad up for some single coverage and the production of red zone touchdowns rather than field goals.

Rey Rey Brings the Pain

With the draft rapidly approaching, let's take a look back at one of the highly touted and drafted players of the past year: Rey Maualuga. Rey was one of the most physically intimidating linebackers of the draft with his long Samoan hair and tatoos coupled with a tenacious style on the field which earned him the title of the nation's best linebacker. Like so many other awards in college, it did not carry much weight when evaluating players for the professional level and he fell from the first round watching his college teammates Brian Cushing and Clay Matthews and rival James Laurinaitis all get drafted before him where the Bengals were waiting with open arms in the second round.

Marvin Lewis and Mike Zimmer believed they had found the perfect hammer for Zim's aggressive defensive style. A neck stinger kept him out of some early training camp time but it did not prevent him from getting on the field early. Having played the Mike his entire life he had to transition to the strong side as Dhani Jones anchored the middle and served as primary signal caller. But as Lippincott's shorts already alluded to earlier, football players are interchangeable or to go with cliches "a football player is a football player." Add to that the "I am getting no respect" chip on the shoulder and that all equates to a highly motivated football player.

Despite his plummet to the second round, expectations were high for the youngster who was touted to be a game changing player. He logged 63 tackles, 1 sack, and 3 forced fumbles. His forced fumble in the Packers game was crucial to the team getting the win. While he made some big plays, he also would get caught out of position to frequently and missed some tackles. A prevailing idea surrounding Rey coming out was that Matthews and Cushing covered up a lot of his deficiencies at SC. His high octane style some criticized as out of control and while he got the publicity, his teammates made the superior plays. Matthews registered 51 tackles, 1 forced fumble, and 10 sacks on his season while Brian Cushing was a dominant force racking up 134 tackles, 2 forced fumbles, 4 interceptions, and 5 sacks. Clearly, Maualuga had less impact plays than his pals from SC but that does not mean that he wasn't just as valuable.


His energy was unparalleled and he blitzed with fury. His high motor often got him to make plays at and around the line of scrimmage. His tenacity also sometimes had him out of position. He needs to improve on technique coming off the edge but his whole life up until now he had been shooting gaps in the middle. He lacks elite top end speed and sometimes struggled in covering the RB out of the backfield. All in all, his performance was that fitting of a productive 2nd round draft pick. He had his shortcomings but was stout in the run game. At the same time, he was not nearly as impressive as the men that broadcast the games would have you think failing to dominate games like his counterpart Cushing.

He needs to continue to improve and increase impact plays to be the player the Bengals desperately need. One can only hope that he recovers completely from his broken ankle without sequelae. Other media types will also play the bullshit character angle since his DUI but I'm not buying into that. He was involved in drunken altercations at SC, grinded on an unsuspecting Erin Andrews, and now has his most recent DUI when he was driving some teenage girls. None of that really impacts his ability to play football unless it results in a suspension and ultimately he's a young guy that was probably in the wrong place at wrong time.

All of you probably have friends you would classify as a meathead. Someone who inevitably acts like a brutish moron when drunk. I think it's safe to assume that Rey has a large meathead quotient and when he gets wasted he probably wants to arm wrestle and puff out his chest a bit. He's made some bad decisions and I am sure he has learned from them. What we all can only hope for is that he learned more from his mistakes on the field. With the schedule for the upcoming season set, the team needs a big year from Rey Rey.

I have the need. The need. . . For Tweed.

Faulkner has Sound and the Fury.

The Strokes have Is This It.

Scorsese has Goodfellas.

And I have this Draft Needs article.

(That link you just clicked on is just a link to the current blog you are already reading. I'm referring to this very article.)

Now, it's tough for me to discuss the idea of "drafting for need" all that rationally. It is a concept that I think of regularly, discuss frequently, and despise openly.

First of all, let me extend an olive branch to all of those lovely folks who spend a lot of time discussing what the Bengals "need" on draft day. I was once just like you. I read Kiper and McShay and every dubious mock draft website that follows the "need" path so closely.

We talk about "needs" because it is easy to discuss. We all watched Cincinnati play 17 games last year. We all have a good sense of what they lacked and what they did supremely well. So, an entire industry is built on the concept that the draft is used to plug those gaps in an otherwise extraordinary team.

However, the concept is, at best, misunderstood. And, at worst, complete bullshit. Now, if the NFL was where baseball was with statistic analysis and sample sizes, I could link us to football reference.com and point you to the article showing how dubious of a draft strategy it is, and how rarely it is actually followed. If I had a mathematics degree instead of a full time job I could go through all of Mel Kiper's grades for the last ten years, and show how they dock teams too heavily for "not addressing needs" and how teams that drafted the best players or the players that best fit their system always end up being the best.

No, instead I have to rely on anecdotal evidence to make this point. But, lets point out a few basic concepts, that individuals miss when discussing need.

1. In the NFL, the players who provide "depth" play almost as often as the "starters". So often websites will indicate that a team is "set" at cornerback if they have 2 stud corners; Or "set" at RB with a great back; Or "set" at DE with two good ends. Instead, lets look at the Bengals defense from last year. On every series, Cincinnati played at least: 5 defensive backs (usually 6); 4 linebackers; 3 DTs; and 3 DE's (usually 4). That is not a starting 11, that is a starting 20. Brandon Johnson, the "4th" linebacker was relied on every bit as much Rey was this year; Pat Sims (3rd DT) played every bit as much as Peko; and Morgan Trent (3/4th CB) was in on nearly every significant 3rd down conversion. Also, let's look at the draft. Michael Johnson, Maulauaga, Morgan Trent, and Bernard Scott were all drafted at positions where there were not holes in the starting lineup, yet they all made a huge impact on the team. Chase Coffmann, Andre Smith - huge need; zero impact.
2. Players' positions are more interchangeable than anyone thinks. A few years ago, the New York Giants, loaded with 2 high priced and highly productive defensive ends -Osi Umeniyora and Michael Strahan - drafted Justin Tuck in the 3rd round of the NFL draft. They were slammed for drafting a player who had nowhere to play on their team. Two years later. Tuck, Strahan, and Osi anchored one of the best pass rushes in NFL history leading their team to a Super Bowl, with Tuck specializing as a pass rusher from the DT spot on 3rd downs. Fact is, a great player is a great player. A tackle prospect can be a great guard, CBs can play safety, a pass rush DE can fill in at LB, a super FB can carry the load at RB. And all of these things can happen, while the starter is still playing.
3. Injuries, injuries, injuries. Schemes. Schemes. Schemes. Injuries will happen. They are freak occurences. Mauluaga, Palmer, Joseph. You never know who it will be. And, while we had two stud corners last year, if either of them would have gone down, the defense would have collapsed because they had no decent cover corners on the bench, and because Crocker, who could have filled in at corner, was hurt too. So, you know those twenty players I mentioned in the first point, who played on every defensive series for Cincinnati. Over the course of the season it will be more like 22 - 28. Schemes change constantly. Cincinnati needed two decent right tackles for their big formation last season. I don't want to see it gone just because they might have a decent tight end in the fold.

So, if we don't need to totally remove the concept of need, we have to at least rethink it. The draft is a valuable tool to fill out the roster, to add players in the later rounds who can beef up a this secondary or offensive line. But, early on. You just have to take the best player available and the best player that fits the system.

Soon to come: Draft Needs, part Deux.

-Lippincott's Shorts.

Recent News

It's been a little slow around Bengaldom lately so I will just give some hits because its the start of baseball season.

1. Bobbie Williams has signed a 2 year deal with the team. Williams has been solid and extraordinarily durable. Let's hope that continues and Andre "The Pancake" Smith and he can maul some d-linemen like they do a grand slam at Denny's.

2. Maualuga got a tattoo on the right side of his body along the rib cage that says "Never regret anything because at one point it's exactly what you wanted." I think his rehab is coming along well too (I can't really back that up).

3. Chad got a 20 point score on DWTS. I think more importantly he is most probably plugging that bombshell he dances with. Golf clap to you Mr. Ocho, you dance MASTERly.

4. Speculation abounds that Dez Bryant is plummeting down draft boards and will probably be dangling like tiger bait for the Bengals at pick 21. Bryant forgot his cleats to a pro day. So if he can't remember his shoes, how is he going to remember the plays.

5. Jason Shirley ruptured his Achilles and will be out for at least 6 months.

That's all I know folks. Do better next time.

The Safety Dance

Over the course of the next few weeks, we here at Andre Smith's Pancakes will discuss some areas of need our beloved Bengals might address through free agency or the upcoming draft. On the heels of strong defensive season garnering a top 5 ranking and essentially giving us all 10 of our wins, one might think the defense is good enough left alone and we need to exclusively attack our offensive woes. The defense however can use some depth and upgrades at several positions. Let's take a look at the safety position.

In 2009, it started out as a position of some relative depth with thumper Roy Williams, Chris Crocker, Chinedum Ndukwe, Tom Nelson, and Kyries Hebert. After injury and an overall suck fest by Hard Knocks darling Tom Nelson, a Pancakes favorite Keiwan Ratliff was brought in for the playoffs to help at safety though he's a more natural corner. The Jets playoff game saw some big scoring plays and breakdowns by the safeties.

What We Know:
Roy Williams is back. After 2 years of fractured forearms, there are legitimate questions about his future durability. I think his poor coverage skills may be a bit overblown and the man can hit like a freight train filling a hole faster than Peter North.

Chris Crocker will be there and is an all around solid player and fiery competitor. He had 51 tackles, 1 forced fumble, and 2 picks last year. He's high energy, plays fast, and seems to have very good awareness in coverage. Not too mention you can always count on him blowing up a receiver or tight end a second before the ball arrives once a game. He'll get there and he will hit you.

Chinny might be my favorite of our existing safeties and had 89 tackles and a pick this year. It seems that he has a tendency to frustrate coaches by relying on instincts too much rather than playing his assignments. He has very solid hands and can also serve as an extra linebacker. He's great playing in the box, is explosive on the blitz, and might be one of the team's most active defenders not too mention its biggest humanitarian.

Kyries Hebert is our Canadian bacon. He sizzles on special teams but gets fried everywhere else.

Tom Nelson looks better in a horse carriage than he does in coverage. He was small, fast, and competed hard. He also had a sack in a preseason game. He made the team because Corey Lynch was busy saving lives and losing his composure in training camp. Nelson proved to be the Adam Rosales of football: a lot of heart but no skill. He couldn't cover Jerome Simpson in practice and couldn't tackle a hungry Jim Lippincott on free donut day.

What Should Happen
Chinny and Crocker are on the team and will get significant playing time. Roy may start but you have to figure that there will be a pretty steady rotation of Chinny, Crocker, Roy. Hopefully, he can stay healthy this year. Hebert will be on the bubble but will probably make the squad for his special teams production. Unfortunately, we need to cut the cord on Tommy Nelson.

The 2010 NFL draft should see us address the lack of depth at safety. As was made clear last year, we need help to weather the inevitable injuries that happen during the grind of the season. Apparent Ed Reed reincarnation Eric Berry from the Vols will be long gone by the time we draft so we won't talk about him. Now, I will admit that my left shoe probably knows about as much about scouting as I do. That being said: my left shoe also knows more than our entire scouting department. Want good information on potential draftees?

Taylor Mays is a 6'3 230 lb beast from USC who runs a 4.4. He is an athletic freak and made the combine his stepchild. He is also Roy Williams Jr. He can support the run better than Hanes supports my crotch but he struggles in coverage and has suspect hands. Since 2006, he has a total of 5 int, 1 forced fumble, and no sacks. That is not a lot of impact plays but I would not complain if he falls to the second round and into our laps.

Earl Thomas is a ballhawking free safety out of Texas. He's only 20 years old and in his 2 years with the Horns (he redshirted) racked up 134 tackles, 5 forced fumbles, and 10 interceptions. He is undersized at 5'10 and 200 lbs runs a 4.41 and plays more physical than his size. The major concern is if he can handle the pounding his physical style demands. Some might convert to a CB. I love his versatility and big play potential.

Chad Jones from LSU is 6'3 220 lbs and runs a 4.59. Word is Jones could have benefited from another season at Baton Rouge. He's a good athlete also playing baseball but needs to improve in consistency and technique. Should be around in the 3rd round.

Nate Allen is 6'1 205 lbs and runs a 4.47. He hails from South Florida. He was a team leader for the Bulls and looks to be a 2nd to 4th round pick.

From what I have read and the little I have seen of these guys (maybe 4 Longhorns games, 2 USC games, and 1  LSU game from the previous year so I am no expert) I would have to say that I would like a guy like Thomas if he's around. Other scouts describe him as a Polamalu style player. We can all agree that we have seen plenty of that long haired freak and he scares the crap out of me. Our defense could use a game changer like him.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HcOZ6xFxJqg

It's getting Tight in here....Hobgoblin edition

The Goblin has really been getting after it these days flip flopping more than a good ole' John Kerry campaign. He starts weeks ago ridiculing the notion that drafting defense on day 1 then states after the combine (and prior to the Jones/Bryant addition) that after talking to scouts that team clearly needs to go defense because of the depth in the draft on that side of the ball. Here's an idea Geoff: do a little research and reading prior to writing 5,000 words of pure drivel then following it up with another 5000 words completely contradictory to your prior article. It gets exhausting.

One of the big topics in Hobgoblin land and Bengaldom in general is the position of tight end. Now, I must admit that I've never understood the obsession. Outside of freak of nature Antonio Gates and studs like Dallas Clark and Jason Witten I don't feel the position is as influential as people like to think. Plenty of teams succeed without an elite blocking/receiving tight end combination. Hobson loves to make excuses wherever possible for inefficiency so the offenses shortcomings last year largely fell on the shoulders of our tight ends and the tragic and truly heartbreaking death of Chris Henry. Reggie Kelly and Ben Utecht were lost for the year during camp and the excuse machine was in full force. I like Kelly. He's a solid, workmanlike guy Marvin loves. But he is far from elite. Utecht has never been a difference maker and probably has more potential to be a Christian rock superstar than in the top 15 statistically for tight ends. It sucked they got hurt but it was not the reason we did not advance in the playoffs.



The platoon of Dan Coates and J.P. Foschi has been much maligned and the Goblin has targeted it as a position to draft in the coming months. He states that signing Kelly needs to be priority number one. Really? Our first priority should be to resign a 33 year old average tight end who is coming off of a missed season for a ruptured Achilles tendon? That's the sort of decision a franchise that does not compete for division championships makes. I want the best for Reggie Kelly but I can guarantee you the New England Patriots would not make that move. Year in and out the Patriots cut ties with fan favorites and stable veterans when it becomes clear that they no longer compete at a level high enough to win.

He goes on to blame the spread offense for killing the tight end position saying that now teams need a receiving tight end and a blocking tight end. If you are a purely receiving tight end, aren't you just a slow, big, and probably bad wide receiver? If a guy can't even chip down on a block then he's not a tight end. He goes on to discuss Greg Olsen of the Bears and that his signing is probably not likely because the Bears just signed another tight end to block thereby supporting the notion that Olsen can't block. He spanks Olsen around a little bit more "I’d hate to spend a second-round pick on Olsen and then find out that he can’t get in Terrell Suggs’ way." Yeah, great logic. Let's use as our example one of the best rushers in the whole damn league. A lot of offensive tackles have problems when Suggs attacks them.

This whole tight end tirade of the Hobgoblin comes just months after he featured an entire article on Aaron Hernandez-a guy who is a softer clone of Chase Coffman. In summation, Hobson is an idiot.

http://www.bengals.com/news/hobson-online/article-1/Hobsons-Choice-Line-dance/4d62d773-cb1a-4e6f-9f93-0e047449a817

Compensation! We want our Compensation!

The Bengals were rewarded handsomely for the departure of TJ, Stacy Andrews, and Eric Ghiaciuc by getting a 3rd and 4th rounder. They are the 96th and 131st picks in the draft. The Cats were the only team to receive a 4th round compensatory pick. The team needs to be productive with these picks as those rounds can produce some real impact players. We will comment on the needs of the draft in a future article.

Grant Wistrom's a Dick!

The two cooks are out at a batchelor party this weekend so there will be no new updates until at least Monday.

I thought I would share a personal batchelor party anecdote in remembrance. As a younger man in college in St. Louis I happened upon Grant Wistrom's batchelor party that ended at a local watering hole called Humphrey's. Grant was there with Kyle Turley and some other players whose names are escaping me at this moment. Anyway, after a few diet cokes I decided I was going to talk to good ole' boy Grant Wistrom. This happened to be a few weeks after the team that shall remain nameless defeated the Seattle Seahawks of whom Grant played for in the Super Bowl. So I say "Hey Grant, I want to let you know that guys were robbed in the Super Bowl but none of it would have mattered if Kimo didn't shred Carson's knee." He replied, "Man, fuck the Cincinnati Bengals." I did not take that comment well and said, "You know what Grant, Fuck You." Immediately after uttering the words, I took a few steps back and showed myself to the door. I quickly called Lippincott's shorts and informed him that I would be starting a blog. It took a while, but here we are.

Oh boy oh boy! It's Roy!

Sadly, after this photo was taken, Roy Williams tackled this old bag by leading with his right forearm to her trachea. He also stole the blue plastic thing in her hand.

But, then again, that's just how Roy Williams plays the game. Physical, hard nosed. . .Any other cliches we can come up with?

The Bengals re-signed Roy Williams over the weekend. And the reason why there has been no word from the pancake kitchen, is because I smell a larger, more formidable article on the Bengals safety issue distilling in Brat's fermenters just down the road. This also will tie-in/lead in, to the the Tight Polyester weighing in on the Bengals' needs in next month's draft.

So many articles and thoughts for our loyal readers that I don't know whether to write all day, go to work, or lie on my sofa and watch Skip Bayless all day.

But, let's get to the point: Even without injuries, a good defense needs three good safeties. Bengals.com is reporting that Williams talked about how he and Crocker "made a good tandem" last year when they were healthy. And maybe that's the case. But the bigger point here is that now Cincy has 3 legit starting safeties in Chinedum, Chris, and Roy. Given the ages of the last two, I would expect that Ndukwe plays as much or more than the other two (and he really played great last season) but the unique talents all three of these fellers bring embolden an already good secondary.

Early preview on a draft thought: Get us a good nickel corner in rounds 2 - 4. Morgan Trent is a future strong safety who is a fierce blitzer, good tackler, and mean coverage guy on the short zone passes. However, Cincinnati needs a third corner to play on 3rd and long downs, because Trent is going on his 5th consecutive year of being entirely uncomfortable in deep coverage. The Bengals are one good corner away from having the best secondary in football.

-The Shorts! Lippincott that is!

He's Incognito!

Richie Incognito descended into Bengaldom disguised as Bobbie Williams and just might walk away with a deal. Just kidding. I was just attempting to make a joke incognito. The truth of the matter is that talks with Williams have stalled but as of now there has not been overwhelming interest in the super solid guard. He is a rock on the line. A guy the team looks to for leadership, guidance, and enthusiasm. He's also 33.

Incognito is in town for a visit but the headbutting psychopath may just be a ploy to let Williams know we have options and will not be afraid to part ways with him if need be. My suspicion is that a deal with Bobbie will get done. Mike Brown loves players that have been with and is loyal to the organization. It may also be consistent with the fact that our scouting department is a group of poorly trained monkeys so we don't like to stray too far from the coop to get our players.

If things do get interesting I would not be surprised signing a guy like Incognito. He's a problem child though most of his problems are on the field in the form of personal fouls and overall lunacy. The Cats also love versatility and the dude can play guard and center. He should also be on the cheap since his troubled past will make most bidders weary of any substantial contract.

No, not Cromartie.

What? You want new thoughts on the Bryant signing? Get outta here. I already gave them to you in an earlier article.

In summation: I would have preferred TO, but signing Bryant avoided the worst possible scenario of relying on a draft pick to fill the role of 1/2 WR in the Bengals' system. Bryant is big and Carson likes big wideouts. Bryant is physical and can help in the run game. Bryant, Chad, Caldwell, and Jones, give Cincinnati a decent receiving corps with significant upside.

All right, fine. I have a few new thoughts, but only because three new pieces of information emerged since my last short round up.

1) Kevin Walter was Cincinnati's number one WR target this offseason. To that, I say. . .What the hell? Not only is he a former Bengal indicating, for the 315th time that Cincinnati's WR scouting department consists of 13 chimpanzees and a bottle of Glenmorangie Scotch. But in a prolific Texans offense, playing opposite one of the best 3 WRs in the game, Walter's best season was 900 yards and 8 TDs in 2008. Picking Jerome Simpson and Chase Coffman make more sense when you realize that Walter was inexplicably ranked ahead of Bryant and TO on their free agent wish list.

2) Carson Palmer was texting Bryant to recruit him. It is funny when multimillion dollar 30 year old athletes communicate the same way 12 year old girls do

3) The money: 4 years and 28 million. It doesn't really mean much until we know how much of the deal is guaranteed money. It seems steep for a player with only a couple of big seasons - but Cincinnati didn't have many options.

Bryant it is...

Word is that Antonio Bryant has just signed a 4 year deal with the Cats. It's safe to say that I am a little disappointed. I suprisingly was starting to get excited for the TO show. Bryant is younger yet far more inconsistent, less accomplished, and has left a similar path of destruction. I dislike the 4 year contract but if he sucks we can just release him.

Here are the career stats:

YEAR TEAM G REC YDS AVG LNG TD FD FUM LOST 2002 DAL 16 44 733 16.7 78 6 32 2 1 2003 DAL 16 39 550 14.1 54 2 27 0 0 2004 CLE 10 42 546 13.0 55 4 25 0 0 2004 DAL 5 16 266 16.6 48 0 12 1 1 2005 CLE 16 69 1009 14.6 54 4 45 1 1 2006 SFO 14 40 733 18.3 72 3 31 0 0 2008 TAM 16 83 1248 15.0 71 7 60 1 1 2009 TAM 13 39 600 15.4 42 4 25 0 0 Career 106 372 5685 15.3 78 30 257 5 4

I have the need. The need. For tweed.

Faulkner has Sound and the Fury.

The Strokes have Is This It.

Scorsese has Goodfellas.

And I have this Draft Needs article.

(That link you just clicked on is just a link to the current blog you are already reading. I'm referring to this very article.)

Now, it's tough for me to discuss the idea of "drafting for need" all that rationally. It is a concept that I think of regularly, discuss frequently, and despise openly.

First of all, let me extend an olive branch to all of those lovely folks who spend a lot of time discussing what the Bengals "need" on draft day. I was once just like you. I read Kiper and McShay and every dubious mock draft website that follows the "need" path so closely.

We talk about "needs" because it is easy to discuss. We all watched Cincinnati play 17 games last year. We all have a good sense of what they lacked and what they did supremely well. So, an entire industry is built on the concept that the draft is used to plug those gaps in an otherwise extraordinary team.

However, the concept is, at best, misunderstood. And, at worst, complete bullshit. Now, if the NFL was where baseball was with statistic analysis and sample sizes, I could link us to football reference.com and point you to the article showing how dubious of a draft strategy it is, and how rarely it is actually followed. If I had a mathematics degree instead of a full time job I could go through all of Mel Kiper's grades for the last ten years, and show how they dock teams too heavily for "not addressing needs" and how teams that drafted the best players or the players that best fit their system always end up being the best.

No, instead I have to rely on anecdotal evidence to make this point. But, lets point out a few basic concepts, that individuals miss when discussing need.

1. In the NFL, the players who provide "depth" play almost as often as the "starters". So often websites will indicate that a team is "set" at cornerback if they have 2 stud corners; Or "set" at RB with a great back; Or "set" at DE with two good ends. Instead, lets look at the Bengals defense from last year. On every series, Cincinnati played at least: 5 defensive backs (usually 6); 4 linebackers; 3 DTs; and 3 DE's (usually 4). That is not a starting 11, that is a starting 20. Brandon Johnson, the "4th" linebacker was relied on every bit as much Rey was this year; Pat Sims (3rd DT) played every bit as much as Peko; and Morgan Trent (3/4th CB) was in on nearly every significant 3rd down conversion. Also, let's look at the draft. Michael Johnson, Maulauaga, Morgan Trent, and Bernard Scott were all drafted at positions where there were not holes in the starting lineup, yet they all made a huge impact on the team. Chase Coffmann, Andre Smith - huge need; zero impact.
2. Players' positions are more interchangeable than anyone thinks. A few years ago, the New York Giants, loaded with 2 high priced and highly productive defensive ends -Osi Umeniyora and Michael Strahan - drafted Justin Tuck in the 3rd round of the NFL draft. They were slammed for drafting a player who had nowhere to play on their team. Two years later. Tuck, Strahan, and Osi anchored one of the best pass rushes in NFL history leading their team to a Super Bowl, with Tuck specializing as a pass rusher from the DT spot on 3rd downs. Fact is, a great player is a great player. A tackle prospect can be a great guard, CBs can play safety, a pass rush DE can fill in at LB, a super FB can carry the load at RB. And all of these things can happen, while the starter is still playing.
3. Injuries, injuries, injuries. Schemes. Schemes. Schemes. Injuries will happen. They are freak occurences. Mauluaga, Palmer, Joseph. You never know who it will be. And, while we had two stud corners last year, if either of them would have gone down, the defense would have collapsed because they had no decent cover corners on the bench, and because Crocker, who could have filled in at corner, was hurt too. So, you know those twenty players I mentioned in the first point, who played on every defensive series for Cincinnati. Over the course of the season it will be more like 22 - 28. Schemes change constantly. Cincinnati needed two decent right tackles for their big formation last season. I don't want to see it gone just because they might have a decent tight end in the fold.

So, if we don't need to totally remove the concept of need, we have to at least rethink it. The draft is a valuable tool to fill out the roster, to add players in the later rounds who can beef up a this secondary or offensive line. But, early on. You just have to take the best player available and the best player that fits the system.

Soon to come: Draft Needs, part Deux.

-Lippincott's Shorts.

Boiling Stove Roundup

This is a JL Short: A round up of the last ten days activities.

1. We resigned Tank Johnson to a four year deal. Tank was endeared to the Cake while trying to construct a bunk bed for his darling children in Hard Knocks. On the field he transformed himself from a high-upside pass rusher to a slower point of attack beast. Again, I'm no scout. So let's let Zim's words describe his season in this Bengals.com article. TANK!
2. Coles was cut. This move had to happen. And I thought that the Whisky was pretty tough on Coles. Coles, like Antonio Chatman, like Peter Warrick, was never given much of a chance to succeed. Carson is no good at picking out smaller guys down the field, and Coles was not allowed to run a slant his entire tenure. Gilyard would be a waste with Brat and Palm at the helm, and DeSean Jackson would have been equally worthless.
3. Antonio Bryant and TO come in for a free agent visit: For all the venom we spew at the 'Cake, the sight of Bryant and Owens coming in for a visit are a beautiful sign that Cincinnati is using actual rational thought and logic instead of idiotic HobGoblin logic. Now, there may be a big difference between Bryant and Owens, but there is certainly not a predictable difference. TO is scary because of his age. Bryant is scary because of his inconsistency. A lot will be made of both of their character flags. But, it's the NFL, Cincinnati can release either of them after a year without much harm. It certainly looks like we are going to sign one of them. And the Cake is thrilled that a) Cincinnati is signing free agent WRs instead of relying on the idiotic draft idea which would improve the team 0% next year and b) Cincinnati is going after big, physical wideouts that Carson is comfortable throwing to and compliment Chad's expert downfield route running.

Now, at the risk of being too positive. Here are the reasons I prefer TO to Bryant:

• TO is cheaper.
• TO is a supreme, high effort, physical blocker who can be the single WR on our unbalanced line, run heavy formation.
• TO will give the offense the creative tension it needs. I'm sick of company men obeying to the will of Bratkowski. TO won't stand for running bullshit short routes with linebackers putting their hands on him. He will demand the ball in the right spots. Here's hoping he has the spine that Carson willingly gave up and Chad had ripped out of him.

5. Whispers of Brandon Marshall. Whiskey and I have been pimping this move for weeks. The fear was that Cincinnati would try to address its WR issues in the first round of the draft. We would much rather trade that pick and bring this irascible monster into the fold. Marshall is awesome and caught 100 passes from KYLE F___NG ORTON last season. And, if the Bengals could get him for either a 1st round pick or a massive free agent contract, I would say go for it. Unfortunately, because of Marshall's restricted free agent status, it's going to be both. I regret to say, given the price, Bryant and Owens seem like a better solution. Marshall will be there. No other team is going to pay that price.

-Lippincott's shorts.

Hot Coles Here!

Well, it comes as no surprise to anyone that Laveranues Coles was cut by the Bengals earlier this week opening the door for a free agent signing as has been mentioned by both Cakes writers in earlier columns. Coles was a "fucking pro." He was a strong locker room guy that did all "the little things" he was asked to do. The things he did not do was make plays on the field. He had 43 catches for 514 yards and 5 TDs in an anemic passing offense. He had arguably one of his worst games as a pro at the outset against Denver and never felt comfortable. He had a crucial fumble in the Jets playoff game. He struggled mightily and he struggled with a 4 year 28 million dollar contract. It doesn't take a genius to realize that the sum of these parts is getting the axe job from Mr. Lippincott's inappropriate khaki shorts.

Coles strengths were supposed to be his speed, quickness, and his hands (Oh, and his consummate professionalism). At the age of 31, he has lost a step failing to get much separation on routes. With the attention paid to the Ocho, it would fair to assume more opportunities for Coles to excel.

Now, Coles is not the sole source of blame for the year's production or lack thereof. He himself comments, "I didn't fit into the offense at all. Carson wasn't comfortable with me. He likes tall receivers. He told the coaches he wasn't comfortable throwing to me." Of course, when anybody gets fired the knee jerk reaction is to bitch and moan about everybody about yourself but he does have a point. Carson was constantly high when throwing to Coles and he bears some blame of the playoff fumble by terrible ball placement. Carson does like tall receivers but so do the Bengals in general. Peter Warrick, Antonio Chapman, and now Coles have all had their difficulties with the system. Warrick did have a great year in 2003 having 79 catches for 819 yards but that was with the crazy guile and leadership of Jon Kitna. They get these little guys and decide they need to run short option routes that rarely get open and that do not offer many yards after catch in our system. The undeniable skill of guys like Warrick and Coles was that they are great with the ball in their hands but Bratkowski decides to nullify those advantages.

Imagine for an instant Wes Welker falling into this offense. What would the results be? I am certain production would be more akin to that of this season's Coles than what we are all used to seeing in New England.

The larger issue at hand is why does the team constantly fawn over these style of players when we fail to utilize them properly. The signing of Matt Jones and current courting of Terrell Owens makes sense in that regard. They are enormous and athletic. It is why there should be an air of caution around a first or second rount draft pick of Mardy Gilyard. Regardless, the Coles era came and went without much impact.

We all should have known he wasn't comfortable just by watching his reactions to Marvin's preseason rant. He looks very frightened.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=knXuiqdvZ4E

Top 5 Records. HobGoblin Strikes Again!

Well, Brat's Whiskey already hinted at the constant frustration, irritation, and ire we experience when reading Bengals.com and it's lone writer, Geoff Hobson. The reasons for this hatred are as numerous as grains of sand in Sam Adams' navel. Eventually, if you stay with us at the Cake, you will learn to dislike him, too. Rather than try to list all the problems with his writing, his views on the team, and his bizarre obsession with the 3-4 defense, allow me to just obliterate a single statement from his last email retort in "Hobson's Corner."

Geoff Hobson writes (in the middle of an article, of which I vehemently disagree), "(The Bengals) got a top five quarterback when it comes to his arm, his physical tools, his experience, and his track record."

Now, I don't know how history will remember this blog or the two pancake cooks. But, I hope no one says that we here hate Carson Palmer.

Andre Smith's Pancakes does NOT hate Carson Palmer. Carson's teammates love him. Carson has a monster arm. Carson is a funny guy. Carson orchestrated the greatest offensive season in Bengals' history. Carson has been the quarterback of the Bengals' only two playoff teams since 1990. We like Carson. Carson has been as important as any other figure in transforming Cincinnati from a dreadful franchise to a mediocre one. Yet, unlike the Hobgoblin, we are burdened by actually having to objectively analyze how he plays football.

Now, it is one thing if Geoff Hobson spent an article arguing the merits of Carson Palmer as a top quarterback in the NFL and concluded that he was one of the best 5 QBs in the NFL. (Although this would be a hell of an attempt considering the last 21 games Carson has played in the NFL.)

If he really believes that Carson is a top 5 NFL QB, he is allowed to write that article. But you can't use that extreme opinion as the premise for an article that details his preferred Bengals' draft strategy.

What makes the assertion more ludicrous, is that we can all pretty much agree that the three best QBs in the NFL are Brees, Brady and Manning. If Hobson or any reader want to argue that Palmer is better than any of these three, fine. It's a free country. You can also argue that Houshmandzadeh was better than Ocho and that Lindsay Lohan looks better now than she did in Mean Girls. But, whatever the complex and idiotic algorithim one would use to arrive at that conclusion, is outside the realm of this humble blog.

So agreeing that Carson is not in the top 3, that leaves two spots.

As much as it pains me to say this, there is no way even a subjective observer can claim that Palmer has been better than Roethlisberger. Let's even use Hobson's brilliant and precise criteria:

Arm - I'm not a scout. Both of their arms are elite. Carson's arm is his greatest strength.Advantage: Carson

Physical Tools - Ben is stronger and faster than Carson. He is also very difficult to sack because he is the size of an ape.

Advantage: Ben

Experience - Carson has 86 total games, 2 playoffs, Ben has 87 total games including two Super Bowl titles.

Advantage: Ben

Track Record - Carson Palmer's career passer rating is 87.9. Ben's career passer rating is 91.7 Also, Carson's last 4 years of Passer ratings have been: 83.6, 69, 86.7, and 93.9 Roethlisberger's have been 100.5, 80.1, 104.1, and 75.4 .

Advantage: Ben

Now, I'm not saying that Ben is assuredly the 4th best QB in the NFL. I don't believe he is. However, there is no logical way, someone can argue that Carson has been better over the last few years. And it's also hard to argue that Carson at his best, is significantly better than Ben at his best.

So. That leaves one spot in the top 5.

In this 5th spot there are several worthy candidates. In terms of passer rating this year, Favre, Rivers, Rodgers, Schaub, Romo, Warner, E. Manning, McNabb, Flacco, Orton, Campbell all had higher passer ratings than Palmer did.

(Quick passer rating sidebar: No, I do not believe that one's passer rating is the end-all be-all evaluation of a quarterback. What I do believe is it uses one number to sum up 1)TDs thrown versus INTs thrown and 2)Yards per attempt. And I prefer it because it is pretty blind to a passing offense or a rushing offense, and pretty blind to a west coast offense or a downfield passing attack.)

Now, I'm not going to go crazy trying to dissect each one of these players. But let's just look at a snapshot of the irascible Phillip Rivers, His last 4 passer ratings: 104, 105, 83, and 93. The Chargers' record in those 4 seasons are 46-18 and while Carson's Cats have gone from a passing offense to a the second most run-heavy in the league, Rivers' team has not missed a beat while Tomlinson has become a non-factor and Sproles has been unable to handle the workload.

His record is significantly better than Carson's. His passer ratings are significantly better than Carson's. His coaches have put the burden of carrying the offense on his shoulders. How in the name of Jay Hayes, can you say that Carson has a better track record, experience, or physical skills than Phillip Rivers?!

There it is, Hobgoblin, 5 quarterbacks who have been wildly and significantly better than Palmer over the last 5 years. 5 QBs who's highest passer rating is higher than Carson's magical '05 campaign. And 5 quarterbacks who have won at least 3 playoff games (AND 4 HAVE WON SUPER BOWLS!)

Please Geoff. Come to the Pancake and debate that Palmer is better than one of these 5. Make some interesting points and prove it. But please, don't use your asinine, unresearched opinion be the basis for 500 words of drivel I have to read in Hobson's Corner.

-Jim Lippincott's Shorts

Tee-Bow's Big Adventure

Chick Ludwig of the esteemed "Typing Away with Chick" lecture series declares that Bengals fans should not be surprised to see the "Blessed One" Tim Tebow selected in the 2nd or, sit down for this one, the 1st round. His basis for the argument is twofold: that Tebow is the greatest college football player of all time (obviously he did not tune in for The Express: The Ernie Davis story) and that the Bengals blew the hair off Mel Kiper's head once before selecting David Klingler with the 6th overall pick despite having Boomer Esiason entering his 9th NFL season. He's right in some respects. Tebow may arguably be the greatest college football player of all time and the Bengals do need a backup quarterback as bad as Jim Lippincott's shorts need an extra 3 inches in length. However, Tebow is NOT the answer as our backup and definitely not in the 1st round. I'll go ahead and let the Jaguars make that mistake. They love long loopy deliveries from their quarterback (yep, that's an uncalled for jab at Byron Leftwich).

The truth of the matter is that there are a lot of average quarterbacks in this draft and even the supposed good ones have questions. Bradford has the shoulder, Claussen has the toe, terrible haircut, and questions about his leadership, and McCoy has the massive amount of victories but paucity of good games. These guys will go ahead of Tebow. I am a diehard best available player proponent so there is no good reason to reach that early for a player without a position. Zach Robinson, Jarret Brown, and Tony Pike would all be available in later rounds and probably have greater quarterback potential than Tebow.

Articles abound of his strong physical testing at the combine. The speed with which a quarterback runs around 3 cones or the height of his vertical jump don't tell us a thing about his ability to play the position. Josh McCown had the highest vertical jump and he is a horror show. Brian Billick in his book "More than a Game" describes how the combine messed his head up with Kyle Boller. He saw him throw 50 yards on a knee and fell in love with that big arm deciding to look past his 53% completion percentage in college. The combine plays with our hearts and minds. Did you all notice how dominant Vernon Gholston was in the Jets top rated D this year? Oh wait, he didn't play. This jumble of ideas gets to one point: the ability of a player to do things in his underwear has no bearing on his ability to play quarterback especially when those things don't involve throwing the ball to receivers (I just channeled my inner Marvin Lewis with that line).

More importantly, Tebow failed to change his delivery and footwork in college when Urban Meyer brought in NFL coaches to work with him. What will happen in pressure situations? He will revert to his animalistic instincts to throw a ball like a windmill. Can he be groomed? Sure. But we need a backup who can actually fill in adequately if the brittle boned Palmer gets dinged up.

I will never question Tebow's work ethic, desire, or passion. Can he be a great player? Maybe. He just won't be one in Stripes.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d-qodBTlMtA

And I mean WIDE!

TO!

FAVRE!

TO!

TIGER WOODS!

LeBRON!

TO!

FAVRE!

Phew. Glad I got that out of my system. I did that so all of our readers wouldn't have to bother watching Sportscenter tonight.

I like that now that the Whiskey and I have our own Bengals blog, within the first month we will contribute two TO related articles. Our whole spiel here is that we will be different than the BS national and local media, and then we hypocritically are called to action when Buffalo announces that they will not be resigning a 37 year old wideout who had 5 touchdowns last year.

But, the nice thing is, that this will allow me to talk the Bengals' wide receiving situation and point out a few subtleties that the Whisk may have missed in his guffaw-inducing romp from this evening.

First of all, (and I'm going to use the bold feature here)

I support any move this offseason that prevents Cincinnati from blowing a first round pick on a wide receiver or tight end.

Wide receivers do not make an impact in their first year. Tight ends are not worth a first round pick in today's NFL. Cincinnati has spent high draft picks on both positions the last two years and have not developed either successfully. What else do I need to say?

Secondly, the Whisker was concerned about TO's salary. But he only had a one year 6.5 million dollar deal last season, and his numbers were way down. A one year player rental of 6 million bucks is worth it if he makes an impact. (We payed Shayne Graham 2.25 million last year.)

The Bourbon Barrel was also concerned with Laveranues Coles and Sam Adams burning the Cats in the past. Well, I have to agree that our scouts are about as talented at scouting as I am at knitting, but those two situations were pretty different. Sam Adams was an unwanted fat slob, the Bengals got for cheap, and Laveranues Coles was a productive wide out who was a horrible fit for the Bengals system. With TO we have a pretty good replica of TJ Houshmandzadeh (worse hands, better speed), and it gives Cincinnati more size at the receiver position (see previous article on Jones, Matt).

I agree that TO is not a top 15 catcher anymore, and that he will be a little overpaid this season. But he also scratches the Bengals right where they itch.

-Jim Lippincott's Shorts

Time to take a TO?

The Terrell Owens to the Bengals connection has been front and center in the offseason rumor mill from its humble roots in the Hobgoblin's Spike Lee article after his first party since puberty to ProFootballTalk to the Professor John Clayton. As the rumor gains momentum, everybody seems to have an opinion. There is the stereotypical TO locker room cancer angle, the he's as old as hell plot, and then there's a select few that think it might make sense. I stand neutral on the subject.

He is 37 but remains a physical specimen. He had 55 catches for 829 yards and 5 touchdowns last year in a mostly disappointing season in Buffalo where he served as a target for the two headed monster of Trent Edwards and Crazy Legs Ryan Fitzpatrick. He has a knack for getting open deep which this team could desperately use but there are legitimate questions on how much he has left in the tank. Was his dip in production because he has lost a step and is beginning to show his age or was it more the sum of all the terrible parts in Buffalo? He went over 1000 yards in 2008 when he was with an exceptional offense.

The main issue is that Owens will not likely take a significant pay cut and Bratkowski will probably question his ability to understand the playbook since he hails from Tennessee Chattanooga. Most importantly, Mike Brown it seems actually listens and respects the opinion of Carson. Palmer prefers players with a business-like demeanor and probably does not want to "deal" with another guy's antics.

Overall, an Owens signing would help the vertical passing game but his price tag will probably be too steep for his production. The team has also been burned signing aging veterans like Sam Adams and Coles. All in all, a trade for Brandon Marshall would be much better for the team. Look for the TO show to be in Ravens purple next year.

Hobgoblin Attack

Oh Geoff Hobson! "Call it the Mel Kiper Jr. curse." Yes, Geoff let's call it the curse or more appropriately let's call it a damn blessing. Demaryius Thomas broke his foot and now will not be able to falsely skyrocket up the big board due to impressive combine numbers. Let's not at all look at the fact that despite being a brick shit house at 6'3 230 lbs, he has not really functioned as a receiver and reports are that he lacks ability to separate, is a poor route runner, has inconsistent hands, and that he has below average speed. The system at Georgia Tech was not conducive to developing him as a route runner and great receiver but instead utilized his elite physical skills to run block.

Then Geoff exclaims "So could the Bengals now get Thomas in the second round? Probably not. The reports say there is tape of him running a 4.38 40-yard dash." Well, there are many more reports of him running 4.55 and slower. The more mind boggling thing is that he writes article after article of needing a deep threat to stretch the field and take pressure off Chad and Carson SO WHY THE HELL WOULD WE DRAFT AN UNPOLISHED PROJECT WHO DOESN'T KNOW HOW TO RUN A DAMN ROUTE? Why he is so freaking committed to a guy who will provide him with 2 years of Jerome Simpson-like articles about how the coaches and Carson don't trust him because he never worked in a pro style offense and can't run routes. That is ludicrous and asinine. Why reach on a guy and get a dud when you can draft the best player available and get productivity? The last thing we need is another crappy receiver to sit on the bench and develop. We need help and need it now. Thomas' broken foot might be the best thing that happened to us. Unless of course, we just watch that 4.38 tape over and over again on youtube. The youtube highlight video tactic didn't work too well thus far with Jerome Simpson.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-B85po3KBdY

The Running Man

The Pancakes are gonna taste a little bit sweeter today. We had a pint of syrup for breakfast and are on a sugar high so we're gonna take a little look at a position the striped men have all figured out before we embark on needs of the team. That position is running back. Cedric Benson, Brian Leonard, Bernard Scott, and national malcontent Larry Johnson formed one hell of a team.

Benson was all world last year rushing for 1,251 yards and 6 touchdowns while missing 3 games for injury or rest. He ran like the man every one expected him to be when he was drafted by the Bears. He did not take this chance the Bengals gave him lightly and the team received all the auspices of his effort. He was patient to find the hole and exploded through it often driving defenders for extra yards after contact. His performance in the playoffs against the Jets was incredible averaging 8 ypc and singlehandedly kept the game interesting. He pummeled guys with his physicality and showed a good enough burst to get some big runs. The one major question mark for him is the toll his workload will have on him in the future. He had 301 carries despite missing 3 games. In 3 other games, he had more than 35 carries. The team relied heavily on him and he showed his appreciation by mauling defenses.

To keep Benson fresh next year, Bratkowski will need to spell him more appropriately with Bernard Scott. Scott proved his value filling in for Benson when injured and in returning kicks. He broke some big runs and averaged over 31 yards per return. He has good speed and a great feel for running in the open field. His flowing dreadlocks make him look like a poor man's Chris Johnson and I will take that everyday of the week and twice on Sunday. He might also be the only rookie Brat and Palmer let see the field from a small school. He needs more touches next year to provide a good change of pace to Broadway Benson.

Brian Leonard was a Bengal tiger. I must admit I was on team DeDe during Hard Knocks but Leonard won me and the rest of Bengaldom over with his relentless effort and knack for big plays. No one will soon forget his 4th down conversion against the Steelers. Brian Leonard we are forever indebted to you and your offspring. We love your hurdles, your scent, and when this is all over I think we should move in together.

Ladies and gentleman, I present to you the one position we don't need to do crap about: The Running Back.

Anton Chigurh Shayne

The Bengals signed kicker Dave Rayner to a one year contract. The significance of the signing is that it likely means the end for Sugar Shayne Graham in a Bengals uniform. Now, Shayne was a good guy in the community and had beautiful tightly cut red locks. Also, he was always among the league leader in field goal accuracy. (If you recall, the pre-eminent Doug Pelfrey was briefly the all time leader in this category.)

Sadly, in the world of kicking, all that matters is to make the important ones. On this count, Shayne, with help from Brad St. Louis, were able to botch nearly every kick that truly mattered in Bengals history. The most recent of these misses, were two in the home playoff game against the Jets - both from under 40 yards.

Now, in my opinion, no kicker is worth a million dollars, and Cincinnati chose to pay him over 2 million bucks last year to be an okay kicker with zero history of performing in pressure spots. (We all remember Denver and Pittsburgh at the end of 2007). This was nearly as stupid as keeping Brad St. Louis around, when he was a bad longsnapper AND they had to keep paying him a higher and higher league minimum as he became a longer tenured NFL player.

The thing about long snappers and kickers is that there are always ten on the waiver wire pickups that can do an adequate job, and, unless you are "perfect" (Criteria for being perfect: Long Snapper: 1 bad snap a season at a time of low import; Kicker: one miss under 40 yards at a time of low import.) there is no real use of getting an extended contract, and certainly no use in paying a ton of money for one.

But, at the risk of being too glum on the team for two consecutive articles. I will applaud Chigurh Shayne for nailing the 45 yard game winner at Cleveland in overtime this year. And Brad St. Louis was absolutely hilarious in a piece with Kenny Mayne in the Mayne Event.

Thanks to both of you for that.

-Jim Lippincott's Shorts.

Mardy Ball

In the 2009 season, the national media and rest of the country realized something all of us knew since 2006: that the 2005 Cincinnati Bengals offense was dead. How could that be they asked? Carson Palmer was the second coming of Troy Aikman, Chad Ochocinco was in shape, and Cedric Benson made defenses respect the run. A once potent force now averaged 19.06 pts per game, and the passing game was 26th in the league throwing for fewer yards than a bad Kansas City team and a Tennessee team that decided to only play half a season. The vaunted quarterback was the 16th rated passer dominating Pro Bowler David Garrard by .1 point but not managing to match the steely resolve and big arm of veteran Kyle Orton. In the midst of all this Chad Ochocinco managed to have a 1,000 yard season and serve as the only real passing threat. What this all means for the future is what everybody is saying: we need receiver help and we need it now (the other more frightening admission is that Carson is washed up and it doesn't matter who the receivers are).

The answer to all of our passing plights at least in Cincinnati seems to come from our own backyard: Marshawn "Mardy" Gilyard. Now, I want everyone to know up front that I like Gilyard. I love his passion for the game and I love what appears to be true devotion to the city of Cincinnati and I love him completely in the 3rd round. I love his toughness on the field. In short, I love the dude's intangibles. But no one in their right mind drafts in the first and second round on intangibles. That's how people get hurt. So let's throw intangibles out the window for now and focus on those things that can actually be measured.


Last year, he had 87 catches for 1,191 yards and 11 touchdowns with 3 more coming in the return game. In short, he was a badass. That Cincinnati offense was about precision, timing, accuracy, and no mistakes. When in rhythm, it was impossible to stop and Gilyard was its perfect weapon. Timing routes with a lot of yards after catch suited Gilyard perfectly. It also seems that it would suit an offense run by Bill Walsh and the last time I looked Bratkowski was giving piggy back rides to Rex Ryan instead of devising a second half game plan to beat the Jets. Bratkowski will pigeon hole him as a guy running option routes out of the slot ala Peter Warrick, Laveranues Coles, and Antonio Chatman. Those guys did not work out too well for us. Also, sometimes Gilyard lacks explosiveness off the line because he is a long strider, will short arm screens when hearing footsteps, and fails to hold on after big hits all skills needed by a slot receiver in Brat's system. He excels after the catch with elusive hips, good vision, and the ability to break some arm tackles. Again, visions of P-dub are dancing in my head.


His best routes are crossing and seam routes where he gets to run free and you have to question whether his size will become an issue there. He is listed anywhere from 5'11 to 6'1 and from 179 to 187 pounds meaning he most likely is 5'10 porking it up at 175. Can he get a good release and free himself of jams to do those things he excels at? Against a more physical Florida defense he struggled. Similarly, he lacks the bulk to sustain blocks in the run game. For the Bengals and their undying devotion to the holy trinity of stop the run, run the ball, and control the clock that is an issue. Will his blocking keep him off the field? With a first or second round pick, that is unacceptable. They need to be on the field and contribute.


Gilyard has proven himself in the college ranks and should make a solid pro but the immediate impact the Bengals need at several positions do not merit a first or second round chance on Gilyard. He makes perfect sense in the 3rd round where he can be valuable on special teams and get in on limited downs. He is more polished than Jerome Simpson and is more explosive than Andre Caldwell. I like the guy. I want him to succeed. I would like him in stripes. But please, please, let's just not reach on this one. If we are that desperate for a playmaking wide receiver let's go out and get an established one (see: Marshall, Brandon).

Matty J, PacMan, and other Jones Sodas.

Pac Man Jones works out for the Cincinnati Bengals actually made the Headlines section on ESPN.com. A player who is at best a nickel or dime back now, did not play in 2008 and has not been in trouble since 2007, was deemed one of the biggest ten stories of the day last week. Why? Because there is still a lingering national media obsession with the Bengals' obsession with players with troubled pasts and drinking problems. This notion was happily reinforced when our rookie LB took another DUI in the long line of DUIs for the Bengals.

So, obviously there have been two major reactions to the Bengals giving a tryout to Matt Jones - who was suspended last season for cocaine use, and Pacman Jones - who was cut by the Cowboys for being ineffective. The one story is that the "Bad Boy Bengals" will just never learn, and signing these troubled players will always be a stumbling block that prevents them from being a great team. The other story that is actually getting more run this year portrays Marvin Lewis as a redemptive saint, and highlights the Cedric Benson signing.

Of course, those two articles are easy to write; and those two articles are complete bullshit. Fact is, Pacman and Matty J were brought in because teams are not allowed to tamper with any players that were on another team's roster last season. Jones and Jones for various reasons were not, and the Bengals brought them both in. For a management and a coaching staff that I rarely defend, bringing in any players right now seems downright proactive.

The net result of these tryouts was that the Bengals signed Matt Jones to a one year contract for $650,000. So, rather than belabor the idotic criminal and team chemistry angle, let's actually take a look at what Matt Jones means to the 2010 Bengals. At WR, Cincinnati has Chad Ochocinco, Andre Caldwell, Laveranues Coles, Jerome Simpson and Quan Cosby. Ocho is still super solid, and somehow got 1000 yards in an anemic offense; Caldwell cannot beat man coverage and is destined to be a 3/4, special teamer, Coles will be cut because Bratkowski and Palmer have no idea what to do with a receiver under 6'2"; Jerome Simpson will not be given a chance because he did not go to a Pac10 school, and Quan Cosby is a 4/5 who lacks the size or the speed to even regularly man the slot position.

Conservatively, Cincinnati needs to add both a #2 and a #3 wideout this offseason, and, if they are doggedly committed to Bratkowski's offense, the receivers need size. The Bengals offense runs zero small wideout routes. (Look no further than Chatman and Coles' quick demise in the offense). Bratkowski and Palmer's favorite routes are these very short option and drag routes, where the WR basically posts up a linebacker and Carson throws it as hard as he can even though the WR/LB is only about 9 yards from his face. Houshmandzadeh was great at this, Coles was incapable of this. (But, it is worth noting that we are the only team in the NFL who has not taken a short pass to a long touchdown in the last five years. Thanks Bob and Carson)

Where was I? Oh, Matt Jones, right. Matt is an enormous wide receiver at 6'6" 220 (and I swear he weighs more than that) with mediocre hands and has a very tough time getting open downfield. But, the Bengals, after last season, KNOW that Caldwell or Coles do not have what it takes to be a #2 in their offense. And Matt Jones possesses some of the same skills that made TJ a favorite of Carson.

Matt Jones can definitely give Palmer the huge red zone target that he needs, and it gives Bratkowski the "blocking wideout" that he has run in motion when he is telegraphing an off tackle to Cedric Benson. Currently Cincinnati does not have any guy that can handle that role. Matt immediately becomes the Bengals best option to play outside in their dubious 3 WR set and to get open in the back of the end zone inside the 20. He does not have half the talent of Slim, but he can fill some of his roles.A good low risk signing from the Queen City Pumas.

Two more (un)interesting scouting report thoughts on Matt Jones. Basically Matt Jones is a slightly lighter (about 20 pounds) and faster (4.4 vs 4.6) version of Chase Coffman. Could he possibly play tight end or wing? I say if Chase can do it, Matt could probably do it.

Secondly, I think Matt Jones was also just a slightly bigger Tim Tebow. Both players were very good college running backs with questionable throwing accuracy. Matt, luckily is 6'6" and can play wideout, while Tebow at 6'1" could really only play fullback. That being said, Cincinnati finally has an option for a single wing offense with Jones. Considering we tried to sign Vick this past season, I would guess that Bratkowski has visions of Jones taking a couple snaps a game in the shotgun dancing around in his whiskey addled brain.

http://sports.yahoo.com/nfl/news;_ylt=AvniDN5lTnBJ39He5b.6Le1DubYF?slug=jc-directsnap021610&prov=yhoo&type=lgns

-Jim Lippincott's shorts.

The Beginning

Welcome to a Bengals Blog written by Bengals fans for Bengals fans. Our purpose here is multi-faceted: to discuss Who Dey events and happenings and to make Geoff Hobson feel like a little boy. For too long his 10,000 word propaganda has infiltrated the hearts, minds, and souls of Bengals fans and we have had enough. When you say Hobson, you speak of the essence of cool: a man invited to parties with models, a man who stares deep into the eyes of Spike Lee and says Do the Right Thing Spike, and a man who will give you 12 paragraphs on the legacy of the great Jim Breech before he says one critical thing of Bob Bratkowski.

Our aim will be to cut through all the garbage the likes of the national and local hacks will proclaim about our team and offer thorough insight into the organization. Who Dey Forever! Steelers Never.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9Eh5c8fE_kI