And I mean WIDE!

TO!

FAVRE!

TO!

TIGER WOODS!

LeBRON!

TO!

FAVRE!

Phew. Glad I got that out of my system. I did that so all of our readers wouldn't have to bother watching Sportscenter tonight.

I like that now that the Whiskey and I have our own Bengals blog, within the first month we will contribute two TO related articles. Our whole spiel here is that we will be different than the BS national and local media, and then we hypocritically are called to action when Buffalo announces that they will not be resigning a 37 year old wideout who had 5 touchdowns last year.

But, the nice thing is, that this will allow me to talk the Bengals' wide receiving situation and point out a few subtleties that the Whisk may have missed in his guffaw-inducing romp from this evening.

First of all, (and I'm going to use the bold feature here)

I support any move this offseason that prevents Cincinnati from blowing a first round pick on a wide receiver or tight end.

Wide receivers do not make an impact in their first year. Tight ends are not worth a first round pick in today's NFL. Cincinnati has spent high draft picks on both positions the last two years and have not developed either successfully. What else do I need to say?

Secondly, the Whisker was concerned about TO's salary. But he only had a one year 6.5 million dollar deal last season, and his numbers were way down. A one year player rental of 6 million bucks is worth it if he makes an impact. (We payed Shayne Graham 2.25 million last year.)

The Bourbon Barrel was also concerned with Laveranues Coles and Sam Adams burning the Cats in the past. Well, I have to agree that our scouts are about as talented at scouting as I am at knitting, but those two situations were pretty different. Sam Adams was an unwanted fat slob, the Bengals got for cheap, and Laveranues Coles was a productive wide out who was a horrible fit for the Bengals system. With TO we have a pretty good replica of TJ Houshmandzadeh (worse hands, better speed), and it gives Cincinnati more size at the receiver position (see previous article on Jones, Matt).

I agree that TO is not a top 15 catcher anymore, and that he will be a little overpaid this season. But he also scratches the Bengals right where they itch.

-Jim Lippincott's Shorts

Time to take a TO?

The Terrell Owens to the Bengals connection has been front and center in the offseason rumor mill from its humble roots in the Hobgoblin's Spike Lee article after his first party since puberty to ProFootballTalk to the Professor John Clayton. As the rumor gains momentum, everybody seems to have an opinion. There is the stereotypical TO locker room cancer angle, the he's as old as hell plot, and then there's a select few that think it might make sense. I stand neutral on the subject.

He is 37 but remains a physical specimen. He had 55 catches for 829 yards and 5 touchdowns last year in a mostly disappointing season in Buffalo where he served as a target for the two headed monster of Trent Edwards and Crazy Legs Ryan Fitzpatrick. He has a knack for getting open deep which this team could desperately use but there are legitimate questions on how much he has left in the tank. Was his dip in production because he has lost a step and is beginning to show his age or was it more the sum of all the terrible parts in Buffalo? He went over 1000 yards in 2008 when he was with an exceptional offense.

The main issue is that Owens will not likely take a significant pay cut and Bratkowski will probably question his ability to understand the playbook since he hails from Tennessee Chattanooga. Most importantly, Mike Brown it seems actually listens and respects the opinion of Carson. Palmer prefers players with a business-like demeanor and probably does not want to "deal" with another guy's antics.

Overall, an Owens signing would help the vertical passing game but his price tag will probably be too steep for his production. The team has also been burned signing aging veterans like Sam Adams and Coles. All in all, a trade for Brandon Marshall would be much better for the team. Look for the TO show to be in Ravens purple next year.

Hobgoblin Attack

Oh Geoff Hobson! "Call it the Mel Kiper Jr. curse." Yes, Geoff let's call it the curse or more appropriately let's call it a damn blessing. Demaryius Thomas broke his foot and now will not be able to falsely skyrocket up the big board due to impressive combine numbers. Let's not at all look at the fact that despite being a brick shit house at 6'3 230 lbs, he has not really functioned as a receiver and reports are that he lacks ability to separate, is a poor route runner, has inconsistent hands, and that he has below average speed. The system at Georgia Tech was not conducive to developing him as a route runner and great receiver but instead utilized his elite physical skills to run block.

Then Geoff exclaims "So could the Bengals now get Thomas in the second round? Probably not. The reports say there is tape of him running a 4.38 40-yard dash." Well, there are many more reports of him running 4.55 and slower. The more mind boggling thing is that he writes article after article of needing a deep threat to stretch the field and take pressure off Chad and Carson SO WHY THE HELL WOULD WE DRAFT AN UNPOLISHED PROJECT WHO DOESN'T KNOW HOW TO RUN A DAMN ROUTE? Why he is so freaking committed to a guy who will provide him with 2 years of Jerome Simpson-like articles about how the coaches and Carson don't trust him because he never worked in a pro style offense and can't run routes. That is ludicrous and asinine. Why reach on a guy and get a dud when you can draft the best player available and get productivity? The last thing we need is another crappy receiver to sit on the bench and develop. We need help and need it now. Thomas' broken foot might be the best thing that happened to us. Unless of course, we just watch that 4.38 tape over and over again on youtube. The youtube highlight video tactic didn't work too well thus far with Jerome Simpson.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-B85po3KBdY

The Running Man

The Pancakes are gonna taste a little bit sweeter today. We had a pint of syrup for breakfast and are on a sugar high so we're gonna take a little look at a position the striped men have all figured out before we embark on needs of the team. That position is running back. Cedric Benson, Brian Leonard, Bernard Scott, and national malcontent Larry Johnson formed one hell of a team.

Benson was all world last year rushing for 1,251 yards and 6 touchdowns while missing 3 games for injury or rest. He ran like the man every one expected him to be when he was drafted by the Bears. He did not take this chance the Bengals gave him lightly and the team received all the auspices of his effort. He was patient to find the hole and exploded through it often driving defenders for extra yards after contact. His performance in the playoffs against the Jets was incredible averaging 8 ypc and singlehandedly kept the game interesting. He pummeled guys with his physicality and showed a good enough burst to get some big runs. The one major question mark for him is the toll his workload will have on him in the future. He had 301 carries despite missing 3 games. In 3 other games, he had more than 35 carries. The team relied heavily on him and he showed his appreciation by mauling defenses.

To keep Benson fresh next year, Bratkowski will need to spell him more appropriately with Bernard Scott. Scott proved his value filling in for Benson when injured and in returning kicks. He broke some big runs and averaged over 31 yards per return. He has good speed and a great feel for running in the open field. His flowing dreadlocks make him look like a poor man's Chris Johnson and I will take that everyday of the week and twice on Sunday. He might also be the only rookie Brat and Palmer let see the field from a small school. He needs more touches next year to provide a good change of pace to Broadway Benson.

Brian Leonard was a Bengal tiger. I must admit I was on team DeDe during Hard Knocks but Leonard won me and the rest of Bengaldom over with his relentless effort and knack for big plays. No one will soon forget his 4th down conversion against the Steelers. Brian Leonard we are forever indebted to you and your offspring. We love your hurdles, your scent, and when this is all over I think we should move in together.

Ladies and gentleman, I present to you the one position we don't need to do crap about: The Running Back.

Anton Chigurh Shayne

The Bengals signed kicker Dave Rayner to a one year contract. The significance of the signing is that it likely means the end for Sugar Shayne Graham in a Bengals uniform. Now, Shayne was a good guy in the community and had beautiful tightly cut red locks. Also, he was always among the league leader in field goal accuracy. (If you recall, the pre-eminent Doug Pelfrey was briefly the all time leader in this category.)

Sadly, in the world of kicking, all that matters is to make the important ones. On this count, Shayne, with help from Brad St. Louis, were able to botch nearly every kick that truly mattered in Bengals history. The most recent of these misses, were two in the home playoff game against the Jets - both from under 40 yards.

Now, in my opinion, no kicker is worth a million dollars, and Cincinnati chose to pay him over 2 million bucks last year to be an okay kicker with zero history of performing in pressure spots. (We all remember Denver and Pittsburgh at the end of 2007). This was nearly as stupid as keeping Brad St. Louis around, when he was a bad longsnapper AND they had to keep paying him a higher and higher league minimum as he became a longer tenured NFL player.

The thing about long snappers and kickers is that there are always ten on the waiver wire pickups that can do an adequate job, and, unless you are "perfect" (Criteria for being perfect: Long Snapper: 1 bad snap a season at a time of low import; Kicker: one miss under 40 yards at a time of low import.) there is no real use of getting an extended contract, and certainly no use in paying a ton of money for one.

But, at the risk of being too glum on the team for two consecutive articles. I will applaud Chigurh Shayne for nailing the 45 yard game winner at Cleveland in overtime this year. And Brad St. Louis was absolutely hilarious in a piece with Kenny Mayne in the Mayne Event.

Thanks to both of you for that.

-Jim Lippincott's Shorts.

Mardy Ball

In the 2009 season, the national media and rest of the country realized something all of us knew since 2006: that the 2005 Cincinnati Bengals offense was dead. How could that be they asked? Carson Palmer was the second coming of Troy Aikman, Chad Ochocinco was in shape, and Cedric Benson made defenses respect the run. A once potent force now averaged 19.06 pts per game, and the passing game was 26th in the league throwing for fewer yards than a bad Kansas City team and a Tennessee team that decided to only play half a season. The vaunted quarterback was the 16th rated passer dominating Pro Bowler David Garrard by .1 point but not managing to match the steely resolve and big arm of veteran Kyle Orton. In the midst of all this Chad Ochocinco managed to have a 1,000 yard season and serve as the only real passing threat. What this all means for the future is what everybody is saying: we need receiver help and we need it now (the other more frightening admission is that Carson is washed up and it doesn't matter who the receivers are).

The answer to all of our passing plights at least in Cincinnati seems to come from our own backyard: Marshawn "Mardy" Gilyard. Now, I want everyone to know up front that I like Gilyard. I love his passion for the game and I love what appears to be true devotion to the city of Cincinnati and I love him completely in the 3rd round. I love his toughness on the field. In short, I love the dude's intangibles. But no one in their right mind drafts in the first and second round on intangibles. That's how people get hurt. So let's throw intangibles out the window for now and focus on those things that can actually be measured.


Last year, he had 87 catches for 1,191 yards and 11 touchdowns with 3 more coming in the return game. In short, he was a badass. That Cincinnati offense was about precision, timing, accuracy, and no mistakes. When in rhythm, it was impossible to stop and Gilyard was its perfect weapon. Timing routes with a lot of yards after catch suited Gilyard perfectly. It also seems that it would suit an offense run by Bill Walsh and the last time I looked Bratkowski was giving piggy back rides to Rex Ryan instead of devising a second half game plan to beat the Jets. Bratkowski will pigeon hole him as a guy running option routes out of the slot ala Peter Warrick, Laveranues Coles, and Antonio Chatman. Those guys did not work out too well for us. Also, sometimes Gilyard lacks explosiveness off the line because he is a long strider, will short arm screens when hearing footsteps, and fails to hold on after big hits all skills needed by a slot receiver in Brat's system. He excels after the catch with elusive hips, good vision, and the ability to break some arm tackles. Again, visions of P-dub are dancing in my head.


His best routes are crossing and seam routes where he gets to run free and you have to question whether his size will become an issue there. He is listed anywhere from 5'11 to 6'1 and from 179 to 187 pounds meaning he most likely is 5'10 porking it up at 175. Can he get a good release and free himself of jams to do those things he excels at? Against a more physical Florida defense he struggled. Similarly, he lacks the bulk to sustain blocks in the run game. For the Bengals and their undying devotion to the holy trinity of stop the run, run the ball, and control the clock that is an issue. Will his blocking keep him off the field? With a first or second round pick, that is unacceptable. They need to be on the field and contribute.


Gilyard has proven himself in the college ranks and should make a solid pro but the immediate impact the Bengals need at several positions do not merit a first or second round chance on Gilyard. He makes perfect sense in the 3rd round where he can be valuable on special teams and get in on limited downs. He is more polished than Jerome Simpson and is more explosive than Andre Caldwell. I like the guy. I want him to succeed. I would like him in stripes. But please, please, let's just not reach on this one. If we are that desperate for a playmaking wide receiver let's go out and get an established one (see: Marshall, Brandon).

Matty J, PacMan, and other Jones Sodas.

Pac Man Jones works out for the Cincinnati Bengals actually made the Headlines section on ESPN.com. A player who is at best a nickel or dime back now, did not play in 2008 and has not been in trouble since 2007, was deemed one of the biggest ten stories of the day last week. Why? Because there is still a lingering national media obsession with the Bengals' obsession with players with troubled pasts and drinking problems. This notion was happily reinforced when our rookie LB took another DUI in the long line of DUIs for the Bengals.

So, obviously there have been two major reactions to the Bengals giving a tryout to Matt Jones - who was suspended last season for cocaine use, and Pacman Jones - who was cut by the Cowboys for being ineffective. The one story is that the "Bad Boy Bengals" will just never learn, and signing these troubled players will always be a stumbling block that prevents them from being a great team. The other story that is actually getting more run this year portrays Marvin Lewis as a redemptive saint, and highlights the Cedric Benson signing.

Of course, those two articles are easy to write; and those two articles are complete bullshit. Fact is, Pacman and Matty J were brought in because teams are not allowed to tamper with any players that were on another team's roster last season. Jones and Jones for various reasons were not, and the Bengals brought them both in. For a management and a coaching staff that I rarely defend, bringing in any players right now seems downright proactive.

The net result of these tryouts was that the Bengals signed Matt Jones to a one year contract for $650,000. So, rather than belabor the idotic criminal and team chemistry angle, let's actually take a look at what Matt Jones means to the 2010 Bengals. At WR, Cincinnati has Chad Ochocinco, Andre Caldwell, Laveranues Coles, Jerome Simpson and Quan Cosby. Ocho is still super solid, and somehow got 1000 yards in an anemic offense; Caldwell cannot beat man coverage and is destined to be a 3/4, special teamer, Coles will be cut because Bratkowski and Palmer have no idea what to do with a receiver under 6'2"; Jerome Simpson will not be given a chance because he did not go to a Pac10 school, and Quan Cosby is a 4/5 who lacks the size or the speed to even regularly man the slot position.

Conservatively, Cincinnati needs to add both a #2 and a #3 wideout this offseason, and, if they are doggedly committed to Bratkowski's offense, the receivers need size. The Bengals offense runs zero small wideout routes. (Look no further than Chatman and Coles' quick demise in the offense). Bratkowski and Palmer's favorite routes are these very short option and drag routes, where the WR basically posts up a linebacker and Carson throws it as hard as he can even though the WR/LB is only about 9 yards from his face. Houshmandzadeh was great at this, Coles was incapable of this. (But, it is worth noting that we are the only team in the NFL who has not taken a short pass to a long touchdown in the last five years. Thanks Bob and Carson)

Where was I? Oh, Matt Jones, right. Matt is an enormous wide receiver at 6'6" 220 (and I swear he weighs more than that) with mediocre hands and has a very tough time getting open downfield. But, the Bengals, after last season, KNOW that Caldwell or Coles do not have what it takes to be a #2 in their offense. And Matt Jones possesses some of the same skills that made TJ a favorite of Carson.

Matt Jones can definitely give Palmer the huge red zone target that he needs, and it gives Bratkowski the "blocking wideout" that he has run in motion when he is telegraphing an off tackle to Cedric Benson. Currently Cincinnati does not have any guy that can handle that role. Matt immediately becomes the Bengals best option to play outside in their dubious 3 WR set and to get open in the back of the end zone inside the 20. He does not have half the talent of Slim, but he can fill some of his roles.A good low risk signing from the Queen City Pumas.

Two more (un)interesting scouting report thoughts on Matt Jones. Basically Matt Jones is a slightly lighter (about 20 pounds) and faster (4.4 vs 4.6) version of Chase Coffman. Could he possibly play tight end or wing? I say if Chase can do it, Matt could probably do it.

Secondly, I think Matt Jones was also just a slightly bigger Tim Tebow. Both players were very good college running backs with questionable throwing accuracy. Matt, luckily is 6'6" and can play wideout, while Tebow at 6'1" could really only play fullback. That being said, Cincinnati finally has an option for a single wing offense with Jones. Considering we tried to sign Vick this past season, I would guess that Bratkowski has visions of Jones taking a couple snaps a game in the shotgun dancing around in his whiskey addled brain.

http://sports.yahoo.com/nfl/news;_ylt=AvniDN5lTnBJ39He5b.6Le1DubYF?slug=jc-directsnap021610&prov=yhoo&type=lgns

-Jim Lippincott's shorts.

The Beginning

Welcome to a Bengals Blog written by Bengals fans for Bengals fans. Our purpose here is multi-faceted: to discuss Who Dey events and happenings and to make Geoff Hobson feel like a little boy. For too long his 10,000 word propaganda has infiltrated the hearts, minds, and souls of Bengals fans and we have had enough. When you say Hobson, you speak of the essence of cool: a man invited to parties with models, a man who stares deep into the eyes of Spike Lee and says Do the Right Thing Spike, and a man who will give you 12 paragraphs on the legacy of the great Jim Breech before he says one critical thing of Bob Bratkowski.

Our aim will be to cut through all the garbage the likes of the national and local hacks will proclaim about our team and offer thorough insight into the organization. Who Dey Forever! Steelers Never.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9Eh5c8fE_kI