Boiling Stove Roundup

This is a JL Short: A round up of the last ten days activities.

1. We resigned Tank Johnson to a four year deal. Tank was endeared to the Cake while trying to construct a bunk bed for his darling children in Hard Knocks. On the field he transformed himself from a high-upside pass rusher to a slower point of attack beast. Again, I'm no scout. So let's let Zim's words describe his season in this Bengals.com article. TANK!
2. Coles was cut. This move had to happen. And I thought that the Whisky was pretty tough on Coles. Coles, like Antonio Chatman, like Peter Warrick, was never given much of a chance to succeed. Carson is no good at picking out smaller guys down the field, and Coles was not allowed to run a slant his entire tenure. Gilyard would be a waste with Brat and Palm at the helm, and DeSean Jackson would have been equally worthless.
3. Antonio Bryant and TO come in for a free agent visit: For all the venom we spew at the 'Cake, the sight of Bryant and Owens coming in for a visit are a beautiful sign that Cincinnati is using actual rational thought and logic instead of idiotic HobGoblin logic. Now, there may be a big difference between Bryant and Owens, but there is certainly not a predictable difference. TO is scary because of his age. Bryant is scary because of his inconsistency. A lot will be made of both of their character flags. But, it's the NFL, Cincinnati can release either of them after a year without much harm. It certainly looks like we are going to sign one of them. And the Cake is thrilled that a) Cincinnati is signing free agent WRs instead of relying on the idiotic draft idea which would improve the team 0% next year and b) Cincinnati is going after big, physical wideouts that Carson is comfortable throwing to and compliment Chad's expert downfield route running.

Now, at the risk of being too positive. Here are the reasons I prefer TO to Bryant:

• TO is cheaper.
• TO is a supreme, high effort, physical blocker who can be the single WR on our unbalanced line, run heavy formation.
• TO will give the offense the creative tension it needs. I'm sick of company men obeying to the will of Bratkowski. TO won't stand for running bullshit short routes with linebackers putting their hands on him. He will demand the ball in the right spots. Here's hoping he has the spine that Carson willingly gave up and Chad had ripped out of him.

5. Whispers of Brandon Marshall. Whiskey and I have been pimping this move for weeks. The fear was that Cincinnati would try to address its WR issues in the first round of the draft. We would much rather trade that pick and bring this irascible monster into the fold. Marshall is awesome and caught 100 passes from KYLE F___NG ORTON last season. And, if the Bengals could get him for either a 1st round pick or a massive free agent contract, I would say go for it. Unfortunately, because of Marshall's restricted free agent status, it's going to be both. I regret to say, given the price, Bryant and Owens seem like a better solution. Marshall will be there. No other team is going to pay that price.

-Lippincott's shorts.