Top 5 Records. HobGoblin Strikes Again!

Well, Brat's Whiskey already hinted at the constant frustration, irritation, and ire we experience when reading Bengals.com and it's lone writer, Geoff Hobson. The reasons for this hatred are as numerous as grains of sand in Sam Adams' navel. Eventually, if you stay with us at the Cake, you will learn to dislike him, too. Rather than try to list all the problems with his writing, his views on the team, and his bizarre obsession with the 3-4 defense, allow me to just obliterate a single statement from his last email retort in "Hobson's Corner."

Geoff Hobson writes (in the middle of an article, of which I vehemently disagree), "(The Bengals) got a top five quarterback when it comes to his arm, his physical tools, his experience, and his track record."

Now, I don't know how history will remember this blog or the two pancake cooks. But, I hope no one says that we here hate Carson Palmer.

Andre Smith's Pancakes does NOT hate Carson Palmer. Carson's teammates love him. Carson has a monster arm. Carson is a funny guy. Carson orchestrated the greatest offensive season in Bengals' history. Carson has been the quarterback of the Bengals' only two playoff teams since 1990. We like Carson. Carson has been as important as any other figure in transforming Cincinnati from a dreadful franchise to a mediocre one. Yet, unlike the Hobgoblin, we are burdened by actually having to objectively analyze how he plays football.

Now, it is one thing if Geoff Hobson spent an article arguing the merits of Carson Palmer as a top quarterback in the NFL and concluded that he was one of the best 5 QBs in the NFL. (Although this would be a hell of an attempt considering the last 21 games Carson has played in the NFL.)

If he really believes that Carson is a top 5 NFL QB, he is allowed to write that article. But you can't use that extreme opinion as the premise for an article that details his preferred Bengals' draft strategy.

What makes the assertion more ludicrous, is that we can all pretty much agree that the three best QBs in the NFL are Brees, Brady and Manning. If Hobson or any reader want to argue that Palmer is better than any of these three, fine. It's a free country. You can also argue that Houshmandzadeh was better than Ocho and that Lindsay Lohan looks better now than she did in Mean Girls. But, whatever the complex and idiotic algorithim one would use to arrive at that conclusion, is outside the realm of this humble blog.

So agreeing that Carson is not in the top 3, that leaves two spots.

As much as it pains me to say this, there is no way even a subjective observer can claim that Palmer has been better than Roethlisberger. Let's even use Hobson's brilliant and precise criteria:

Arm - I'm not a scout. Both of their arms are elite. Carson's arm is his greatest strength.Advantage: Carson

Physical Tools - Ben is stronger and faster than Carson. He is also very difficult to sack because he is the size of an ape.

Advantage: Ben

Experience - Carson has 86 total games, 2 playoffs, Ben has 87 total games including two Super Bowl titles.

Advantage: Ben

Track Record - Carson Palmer's career passer rating is 87.9. Ben's career passer rating is 91.7 Also, Carson's last 4 years of Passer ratings have been: 83.6, 69, 86.7, and 93.9 Roethlisberger's have been 100.5, 80.1, 104.1, and 75.4 .

Advantage: Ben

Now, I'm not saying that Ben is assuredly the 4th best QB in the NFL. I don't believe he is. However, there is no logical way, someone can argue that Carson has been better over the last few years. And it's also hard to argue that Carson at his best, is significantly better than Ben at his best.

So. That leaves one spot in the top 5.

In this 5th spot there are several worthy candidates. In terms of passer rating this year, Favre, Rivers, Rodgers, Schaub, Romo, Warner, E. Manning, McNabb, Flacco, Orton, Campbell all had higher passer ratings than Palmer did.

(Quick passer rating sidebar: No, I do not believe that one's passer rating is the end-all be-all evaluation of a quarterback. What I do believe is it uses one number to sum up 1)TDs thrown versus INTs thrown and 2)Yards per attempt. And I prefer it because it is pretty blind to a passing offense or a rushing offense, and pretty blind to a west coast offense or a downfield passing attack.)

Now, I'm not going to go crazy trying to dissect each one of these players. But let's just look at a snapshot of the irascible Phillip Rivers, His last 4 passer ratings: 104, 105, 83, and 93. The Chargers' record in those 4 seasons are 46-18 and while Carson's Cats have gone from a passing offense to a the second most run-heavy in the league, Rivers' team has not missed a beat while Tomlinson has become a non-factor and Sproles has been unable to handle the workload.

His record is significantly better than Carson's. His passer ratings are significantly better than Carson's. His coaches have put the burden of carrying the offense on his shoulders. How in the name of Jay Hayes, can you say that Carson has a better track record, experience, or physical skills than Phillip Rivers?!

There it is, Hobgoblin, 5 quarterbacks who have been wildly and significantly better than Palmer over the last 5 years. 5 QBs who's highest passer rating is higher than Carson's magical '05 campaign. And 5 quarterbacks who have won at least 3 playoff games (AND 4 HAVE WON SUPER BOWLS!)

Please Geoff. Come to the Pancake and debate that Palmer is better than one of these 5. Make some interesting points and prove it. But please, don't use your asinine, unresearched opinion be the basis for 500 words of drivel I have to read in Hobson's Corner.

-Jim Lippincott's Shorts