The Safety Dance

Over the course of the next few weeks, we here at Andre Smith's Pancakes will discuss some areas of need our beloved Bengals might address through free agency or the upcoming draft. On the heels of strong defensive season garnering a top 5 ranking and essentially giving us all 10 of our wins, one might think the defense is good enough left alone and we need to exclusively attack our offensive woes. The defense however can use some depth and upgrades at several positions. Let's take a look at the safety position.

In 2009, it started out as a position of some relative depth with thumper Roy Williams, Chris Crocker, Chinedum Ndukwe, Tom Nelson, and Kyries Hebert. After injury and an overall suck fest by Hard Knocks darling Tom Nelson, a Pancakes favorite Keiwan Ratliff was brought in for the playoffs to help at safety though he's a more natural corner. The Jets playoff game saw some big scoring plays and breakdowns by the safeties.

What We Know:
Roy Williams is back. After 2 years of fractured forearms, there are legitimate questions about his future durability. I think his poor coverage skills may be a bit overblown and the man can hit like a freight train filling a hole faster than Peter North.

Chris Crocker will be there and is an all around solid player and fiery competitor. He had 51 tackles, 1 forced fumble, and 2 picks last year. He's high energy, plays fast, and seems to have very good awareness in coverage. Not too mention you can always count on him blowing up a receiver or tight end a second before the ball arrives once a game. He'll get there and he will hit you.

Chinny might be my favorite of our existing safeties and had 89 tackles and a pick this year. It seems that he has a tendency to frustrate coaches by relying on instincts too much rather than playing his assignments. He has very solid hands and can also serve as an extra linebacker. He's great playing in the box, is explosive on the blitz, and might be one of the team's most active defenders not too mention its biggest humanitarian.

Kyries Hebert is our Canadian bacon. He sizzles on special teams but gets fried everywhere else.

Tom Nelson looks better in a horse carriage than he does in coverage. He was small, fast, and competed hard. He also had a sack in a preseason game. He made the team because Corey Lynch was busy saving lives and losing his composure in training camp. Nelson proved to be the Adam Rosales of football: a lot of heart but no skill. He couldn't cover Jerome Simpson in practice and couldn't tackle a hungry Jim Lippincott on free donut day.

What Should Happen
Chinny and Crocker are on the team and will get significant playing time. Roy may start but you have to figure that there will be a pretty steady rotation of Chinny, Crocker, Roy. Hopefully, he can stay healthy this year. Hebert will be on the bubble but will probably make the squad for his special teams production. Unfortunately, we need to cut the cord on Tommy Nelson.

The 2010 NFL draft should see us address the lack of depth at safety. As was made clear last year, we need help to weather the inevitable injuries that happen during the grind of the season. Apparent Ed Reed reincarnation Eric Berry from the Vols will be long gone by the time we draft so we won't talk about him. Now, I will admit that my left shoe probably knows about as much about scouting as I do. That being said: my left shoe also knows more than our entire scouting department. Want good information on potential draftees?

Taylor Mays is a 6'3 230 lb beast from USC who runs a 4.4. He is an athletic freak and made the combine his stepchild. He is also Roy Williams Jr. He can support the run better than Hanes supports my crotch but he struggles in coverage and has suspect hands. Since 2006, he has a total of 5 int, 1 forced fumble, and no sacks. That is not a lot of impact plays but I would not complain if he falls to the second round and into our laps.

Earl Thomas is a ballhawking free safety out of Texas. He's only 20 years old and in his 2 years with the Horns (he redshirted) racked up 134 tackles, 5 forced fumbles, and 10 interceptions. He is undersized at 5'10 and 200 lbs runs a 4.41 and plays more physical than his size. The major concern is if he can handle the pounding his physical style demands. Some might convert to a CB. I love his versatility and big play potential.

Chad Jones from LSU is 6'3 220 lbs and runs a 4.59. Word is Jones could have benefited from another season at Baton Rouge. He's a good athlete also playing baseball but needs to improve in consistency and technique. Should be around in the 3rd round.

Nate Allen is 6'1 205 lbs and runs a 4.47. He hails from South Florida. He was a team leader for the Bulls and looks to be a 2nd to 4th round pick.

From what I have read and the little I have seen of these guys (maybe 4 Longhorns games, 2 USC games, and 1  LSU game from the previous year so I am no expert) I would have to say that I would like a guy like Thomas if he's around. Other scouts describe him as a Polamalu style player. We can all agree that we have seen plenty of that long haired freak and he scares the crap out of me. Our defense could use a game changer like him.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HcOZ6xFxJqg

It's getting Tight in here....Hobgoblin edition

The Goblin has really been getting after it these days flip flopping more than a good ole' John Kerry campaign. He starts weeks ago ridiculing the notion that drafting defense on day 1 then states after the combine (and prior to the Jones/Bryant addition) that after talking to scouts that team clearly needs to go defense because of the depth in the draft on that side of the ball. Here's an idea Geoff: do a little research and reading prior to writing 5,000 words of pure drivel then following it up with another 5000 words completely contradictory to your prior article. It gets exhausting.

One of the big topics in Hobgoblin land and Bengaldom in general is the position of tight end. Now, I must admit that I've never understood the obsession. Outside of freak of nature Antonio Gates and studs like Dallas Clark and Jason Witten I don't feel the position is as influential as people like to think. Plenty of teams succeed without an elite blocking/receiving tight end combination. Hobson loves to make excuses wherever possible for inefficiency so the offenses shortcomings last year largely fell on the shoulders of our tight ends and the tragic and truly heartbreaking death of Chris Henry. Reggie Kelly and Ben Utecht were lost for the year during camp and the excuse machine was in full force. I like Kelly. He's a solid, workmanlike guy Marvin loves. But he is far from elite. Utecht has never been a difference maker and probably has more potential to be a Christian rock superstar than in the top 15 statistically for tight ends. It sucked they got hurt but it was not the reason we did not advance in the playoffs.



The platoon of Dan Coates and J.P. Foschi has been much maligned and the Goblin has targeted it as a position to draft in the coming months. He states that signing Kelly needs to be priority number one. Really? Our first priority should be to resign a 33 year old average tight end who is coming off of a missed season for a ruptured Achilles tendon? That's the sort of decision a franchise that does not compete for division championships makes. I want the best for Reggie Kelly but I can guarantee you the New England Patriots would not make that move. Year in and out the Patriots cut ties with fan favorites and stable veterans when it becomes clear that they no longer compete at a level high enough to win.

He goes on to blame the spread offense for killing the tight end position saying that now teams need a receiving tight end and a blocking tight end. If you are a purely receiving tight end, aren't you just a slow, big, and probably bad wide receiver? If a guy can't even chip down on a block then he's not a tight end. He goes on to discuss Greg Olsen of the Bears and that his signing is probably not likely because the Bears just signed another tight end to block thereby supporting the notion that Olsen can't block. He spanks Olsen around a little bit more "I’d hate to spend a second-round pick on Olsen and then find out that he can’t get in Terrell Suggs’ way." Yeah, great logic. Let's use as our example one of the best rushers in the whole damn league. A lot of offensive tackles have problems when Suggs attacks them.

This whole tight end tirade of the Hobgoblin comes just months after he featured an entire article on Aaron Hernandez-a guy who is a softer clone of Chase Coffman. In summation, Hobson is an idiot.

http://www.bengals.com/news/hobson-online/article-1/Hobsons-Choice-Line-dance/4d62d773-cb1a-4e6f-9f93-0e047449a817

Compensation! We want our Compensation!

The Bengals were rewarded handsomely for the departure of TJ, Stacy Andrews, and Eric Ghiaciuc by getting a 3rd and 4th rounder. They are the 96th and 131st picks in the draft. The Cats were the only team to receive a 4th round compensatory pick. The team needs to be productive with these picks as those rounds can produce some real impact players. We will comment on the needs of the draft in a future article.

Grant Wistrom's a Dick!

The two cooks are out at a batchelor party this weekend so there will be no new updates until at least Monday.

I thought I would share a personal batchelor party anecdote in remembrance. As a younger man in college in St. Louis I happened upon Grant Wistrom's batchelor party that ended at a local watering hole called Humphrey's. Grant was there with Kyle Turley and some other players whose names are escaping me at this moment. Anyway, after a few diet cokes I decided I was going to talk to good ole' boy Grant Wistrom. This happened to be a few weeks after the team that shall remain nameless defeated the Seattle Seahawks of whom Grant played for in the Super Bowl. So I say "Hey Grant, I want to let you know that guys were robbed in the Super Bowl but none of it would have mattered if Kimo didn't shred Carson's knee." He replied, "Man, fuck the Cincinnati Bengals." I did not take that comment well and said, "You know what Grant, Fuck You." Immediately after uttering the words, I took a few steps back and showed myself to the door. I quickly called Lippincott's shorts and informed him that I would be starting a blog. It took a while, but here we are.

Oh boy oh boy! It's Roy!

Sadly, after this photo was taken, Roy Williams tackled this old bag by leading with his right forearm to her trachea. He also stole the blue plastic thing in her hand.

But, then again, that's just how Roy Williams plays the game. Physical, hard nosed. . .Any other cliches we can come up with?

The Bengals re-signed Roy Williams over the weekend. And the reason why there has been no word from the pancake kitchen, is because I smell a larger, more formidable article on the Bengals safety issue distilling in Brat's fermenters just down the road. This also will tie-in/lead in, to the the Tight Polyester weighing in on the Bengals' needs in next month's draft.

So many articles and thoughts for our loyal readers that I don't know whether to write all day, go to work, or lie on my sofa and watch Skip Bayless all day.

But, let's get to the point: Even without injuries, a good defense needs three good safeties. Bengals.com is reporting that Williams talked about how he and Crocker "made a good tandem" last year when they were healthy. And maybe that's the case. But the bigger point here is that now Cincy has 3 legit starting safeties in Chinedum, Chris, and Roy. Given the ages of the last two, I would expect that Ndukwe plays as much or more than the other two (and he really played great last season) but the unique talents all three of these fellers bring embolden an already good secondary.

Early preview on a draft thought: Get us a good nickel corner in rounds 2 - 4. Morgan Trent is a future strong safety who is a fierce blitzer, good tackler, and mean coverage guy on the short zone passes. However, Cincinnati needs a third corner to play on 3rd and long downs, because Trent is going on his 5th consecutive year of being entirely uncomfortable in deep coverage. The Bengals are one good corner away from having the best secondary in football.

-The Shorts! Lippincott that is!

He's Incognito!

Richie Incognito descended into Bengaldom disguised as Bobbie Williams and just might walk away with a deal. Just kidding. I was just attempting to make a joke incognito. The truth of the matter is that talks with Williams have stalled but as of now there has not been overwhelming interest in the super solid guard. He is a rock on the line. A guy the team looks to for leadership, guidance, and enthusiasm. He's also 33.

Incognito is in town for a visit but the headbutting psychopath may just be a ploy to let Williams know we have options and will not be afraid to part ways with him if need be. My suspicion is that a deal with Bobbie will get done. Mike Brown loves players that have been with and is loyal to the organization. It may also be consistent with the fact that our scouting department is a group of poorly trained monkeys so we don't like to stray too far from the coop to get our players.

If things do get interesting I would not be surprised signing a guy like Incognito. He's a problem child though most of his problems are on the field in the form of personal fouls and overall lunacy. The Cats also love versatility and the dude can play guard and center. He should also be on the cheap since his troubled past will make most bidders weary of any substantial contract.

No, not Cromartie.

What? You want new thoughts on the Bryant signing? Get outta here. I already gave them to you in an earlier article.

In summation: I would have preferred TO, but signing Bryant avoided the worst possible scenario of relying on a draft pick to fill the role of 1/2 WR in the Bengals' system. Bryant is big and Carson likes big wideouts. Bryant is physical and can help in the run game. Bryant, Chad, Caldwell, and Jones, give Cincinnati a decent receiving corps with significant upside.

All right, fine. I have a few new thoughts, but only because three new pieces of information emerged since my last short round up.

1) Kevin Walter was Cincinnati's number one WR target this offseason. To that, I say. . .What the hell? Not only is he a former Bengal indicating, for the 315th time that Cincinnati's WR scouting department consists of 13 chimpanzees and a bottle of Glenmorangie Scotch. But in a prolific Texans offense, playing opposite one of the best 3 WRs in the game, Walter's best season was 900 yards and 8 TDs in 2008. Picking Jerome Simpson and Chase Coffman make more sense when you realize that Walter was inexplicably ranked ahead of Bryant and TO on their free agent wish list.

2) Carson Palmer was texting Bryant to recruit him. It is funny when multimillion dollar 30 year old athletes communicate the same way 12 year old girls do

3) The money: 4 years and 28 million. It doesn't really mean much until we know how much of the deal is guaranteed money. It seems steep for a player with only a couple of big seasons - but Cincinnati didn't have many options.

Bryant it is...

Word is that Antonio Bryant has just signed a 4 year deal with the Cats. It's safe to say that I am a little disappointed. I suprisingly was starting to get excited for the TO show. Bryant is younger yet far more inconsistent, less accomplished, and has left a similar path of destruction. I dislike the 4 year contract but if he sucks we can just release him.

Here are the career stats:

YEAR TEAM G REC YDS AVG LNG TD FD FUM LOST 2002 DAL 16 44 733 16.7 78 6 32 2 1 2003 DAL 16 39 550 14.1 54 2 27 0 0 2004 CLE 10 42 546 13.0 55 4 25 0 0 2004 DAL 5 16 266 16.6 48 0 12 1 1 2005 CLE 16 69 1009 14.6 54 4 45 1 1 2006 SFO 14 40 733 18.3 72 3 31 0 0 2008 TAM 16 83 1248 15.0 71 7 60 1 1 2009 TAM 13 39 600 15.4 42 4 25 0 0 Career 106 372 5685 15.3 78 30 257 5 4

I have the need. The need. For tweed.

Faulkner has Sound and the Fury.

The Strokes have Is This It.

Scorsese has Goodfellas.

And I have this Draft Needs article.

(That link you just clicked on is just a link to the current blog you are already reading. I'm referring to this very article.)

Now, it's tough for me to discuss the idea of "drafting for need" all that rationally. It is a concept that I think of regularly, discuss frequently, and despise openly.

First of all, let me extend an olive branch to all of those lovely folks who spend a lot of time discussing what the Bengals "need" on draft day. I was once just like you. I read Kiper and McShay and every dubious mock draft website that follows the "need" path so closely.

We talk about "needs" because it is easy to discuss. We all watched Cincinnati play 17 games last year. We all have a good sense of what they lacked and what they did supremely well. So, an entire industry is built on the concept that the draft is used to plug those gaps in an otherwise extraordinary team.

However, the concept is, at best, misunderstood. And, at worst, complete bullshit. Now, if the NFL was where baseball was with statistic analysis and sample sizes, I could link us to football reference.com and point you to the article showing how dubious of a draft strategy it is, and how rarely it is actually followed. If I had a mathematics degree instead of a full time job I could go through all of Mel Kiper's grades for the last ten years, and show how they dock teams too heavily for "not addressing needs" and how teams that drafted the best players or the players that best fit their system always end up being the best.

No, instead I have to rely on anecdotal evidence to make this point. But, lets point out a few basic concepts, that individuals miss when discussing need.

1. In the NFL, the players who provide "depth" play almost as often as the "starters". So often websites will indicate that a team is "set" at cornerback if they have 2 stud corners; Or "set" at RB with a great back; Or "set" at DE with two good ends. Instead, lets look at the Bengals defense from last year. On every series, Cincinnati played at least: 5 defensive backs (usually 6); 4 linebackers; 3 DTs; and 3 DE's (usually 4). That is not a starting 11, that is a starting 20. Brandon Johnson, the "4th" linebacker was relied on every bit as much Rey was this year; Pat Sims (3rd DT) played every bit as much as Peko; and Morgan Trent (3/4th CB) was in on nearly every significant 3rd down conversion. Also, let's look at the draft. Michael Johnson, Maulauaga, Morgan Trent, and Bernard Scott were all drafted at positions where there were not holes in the starting lineup, yet they all made a huge impact on the team. Chase Coffmann, Andre Smith - huge need; zero impact.
2. Players' positions are more interchangeable than anyone thinks. A few years ago, the New York Giants, loaded with 2 high priced and highly productive defensive ends -Osi Umeniyora and Michael Strahan - drafted Justin Tuck in the 3rd round of the NFL draft. They were slammed for drafting a player who had nowhere to play on their team. Two years later. Tuck, Strahan, and Osi anchored one of the best pass rushes in NFL history leading their team to a Super Bowl, with Tuck specializing as a pass rusher from the DT spot on 3rd downs. Fact is, a great player is a great player. A tackle prospect can be a great guard, CBs can play safety, a pass rush DE can fill in at LB, a super FB can carry the load at RB. And all of these things can happen, while the starter is still playing.
3. Injuries, injuries, injuries. Schemes. Schemes. Schemes. Injuries will happen. They are freak occurences. Mauluaga, Palmer, Joseph. You never know who it will be. And, while we had two stud corners last year, if either of them would have gone down, the defense would have collapsed because they had no decent cover corners on the bench, and because Crocker, who could have filled in at corner, was hurt too. So, you know those twenty players I mentioned in the first point, who played on every defensive series for Cincinnati. Over the course of the season it will be more like 22 - 28. Schemes change constantly. Cincinnati needed two decent right tackles for their big formation last season. I don't want to see it gone just because they might have a decent tight end in the fold.

So, if we don't need to totally remove the concept of need, we have to at least rethink it. The draft is a valuable tool to fill out the roster, to add players in the later rounds who can beef up a this secondary or offensive line. But, early on. You just have to take the best player available and the best player that fits the system.

Soon to come: Draft Needs, part Deux.

-Lippincott's Shorts.

Boiling Stove Roundup

This is a JL Short: A round up of the last ten days activities.

1. We resigned Tank Johnson to a four year deal. Tank was endeared to the Cake while trying to construct a bunk bed for his darling children in Hard Knocks. On the field he transformed himself from a high-upside pass rusher to a slower point of attack beast. Again, I'm no scout. So let's let Zim's words describe his season in this Bengals.com article. TANK!
2. Coles was cut. This move had to happen. And I thought that the Whisky was pretty tough on Coles. Coles, like Antonio Chatman, like Peter Warrick, was never given much of a chance to succeed. Carson is no good at picking out smaller guys down the field, and Coles was not allowed to run a slant his entire tenure. Gilyard would be a waste with Brat and Palm at the helm, and DeSean Jackson would have been equally worthless.
3. Antonio Bryant and TO come in for a free agent visit: For all the venom we spew at the 'Cake, the sight of Bryant and Owens coming in for a visit are a beautiful sign that Cincinnati is using actual rational thought and logic instead of idiotic HobGoblin logic. Now, there may be a big difference between Bryant and Owens, but there is certainly not a predictable difference. TO is scary because of his age. Bryant is scary because of his inconsistency. A lot will be made of both of their character flags. But, it's the NFL, Cincinnati can release either of them after a year without much harm. It certainly looks like we are going to sign one of them. And the Cake is thrilled that a) Cincinnati is signing free agent WRs instead of relying on the idiotic draft idea which would improve the team 0% next year and b) Cincinnati is going after big, physical wideouts that Carson is comfortable throwing to and compliment Chad's expert downfield route running.

Now, at the risk of being too positive. Here are the reasons I prefer TO to Bryant:

• TO is cheaper.
• TO is a supreme, high effort, physical blocker who can be the single WR on our unbalanced line, run heavy formation.
• TO will give the offense the creative tension it needs. I'm sick of company men obeying to the will of Bratkowski. TO won't stand for running bullshit short routes with linebackers putting their hands on him. He will demand the ball in the right spots. Here's hoping he has the spine that Carson willingly gave up and Chad had ripped out of him.

5. Whispers of Brandon Marshall. Whiskey and I have been pimping this move for weeks. The fear was that Cincinnati would try to address its WR issues in the first round of the draft. We would much rather trade that pick and bring this irascible monster into the fold. Marshall is awesome and caught 100 passes from KYLE F___NG ORTON last season. And, if the Bengals could get him for either a 1st round pick or a massive free agent contract, I would say go for it. Unfortunately, because of Marshall's restricted free agent status, it's going to be both. I regret to say, given the price, Bryant and Owens seem like a better solution. Marshall will be there. No other team is going to pay that price.

-Lippincott's shorts.

Hot Coles Here!

Well, it comes as no surprise to anyone that Laveranues Coles was cut by the Bengals earlier this week opening the door for a free agent signing as has been mentioned by both Cakes writers in earlier columns. Coles was a "fucking pro." He was a strong locker room guy that did all "the little things" he was asked to do. The things he did not do was make plays on the field. He had 43 catches for 514 yards and 5 TDs in an anemic passing offense. He had arguably one of his worst games as a pro at the outset against Denver and never felt comfortable. He had a crucial fumble in the Jets playoff game. He struggled mightily and he struggled with a 4 year 28 million dollar contract. It doesn't take a genius to realize that the sum of these parts is getting the axe job from Mr. Lippincott's inappropriate khaki shorts.

Coles strengths were supposed to be his speed, quickness, and his hands (Oh, and his consummate professionalism). At the age of 31, he has lost a step failing to get much separation on routes. With the attention paid to the Ocho, it would fair to assume more opportunities for Coles to excel.

Now, Coles is not the sole source of blame for the year's production or lack thereof. He himself comments, "I didn't fit into the offense at all. Carson wasn't comfortable with me. He likes tall receivers. He told the coaches he wasn't comfortable throwing to me." Of course, when anybody gets fired the knee jerk reaction is to bitch and moan about everybody about yourself but he does have a point. Carson was constantly high when throwing to Coles and he bears some blame of the playoff fumble by terrible ball placement. Carson does like tall receivers but so do the Bengals in general. Peter Warrick, Antonio Chapman, and now Coles have all had their difficulties with the system. Warrick did have a great year in 2003 having 79 catches for 819 yards but that was with the crazy guile and leadership of Jon Kitna. They get these little guys and decide they need to run short option routes that rarely get open and that do not offer many yards after catch in our system. The undeniable skill of guys like Warrick and Coles was that they are great with the ball in their hands but Bratkowski decides to nullify those advantages.

Imagine for an instant Wes Welker falling into this offense. What would the results be? I am certain production would be more akin to that of this season's Coles than what we are all used to seeing in New England.

The larger issue at hand is why does the team constantly fawn over these style of players when we fail to utilize them properly. The signing of Matt Jones and current courting of Terrell Owens makes sense in that regard. They are enormous and athletic. It is why there should be an air of caution around a first or second rount draft pick of Mardy Gilyard. Regardless, the Coles era came and went without much impact.

We all should have known he wasn't comfortable just by watching his reactions to Marvin's preseason rant. He looks very frightened.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=knXuiqdvZ4E

Top 5 Records. HobGoblin Strikes Again!

Well, Brat's Whiskey already hinted at the constant frustration, irritation, and ire we experience when reading Bengals.com and it's lone writer, Geoff Hobson. The reasons for this hatred are as numerous as grains of sand in Sam Adams' navel. Eventually, if you stay with us at the Cake, you will learn to dislike him, too. Rather than try to list all the problems with his writing, his views on the team, and his bizarre obsession with the 3-4 defense, allow me to just obliterate a single statement from his last email retort in "Hobson's Corner."

Geoff Hobson writes (in the middle of an article, of which I vehemently disagree), "(The Bengals) got a top five quarterback when it comes to his arm, his physical tools, his experience, and his track record."

Now, I don't know how history will remember this blog or the two pancake cooks. But, I hope no one says that we here hate Carson Palmer.

Andre Smith's Pancakes does NOT hate Carson Palmer. Carson's teammates love him. Carson has a monster arm. Carson is a funny guy. Carson orchestrated the greatest offensive season in Bengals' history. Carson has been the quarterback of the Bengals' only two playoff teams since 1990. We like Carson. Carson has been as important as any other figure in transforming Cincinnati from a dreadful franchise to a mediocre one. Yet, unlike the Hobgoblin, we are burdened by actually having to objectively analyze how he plays football.

Now, it is one thing if Geoff Hobson spent an article arguing the merits of Carson Palmer as a top quarterback in the NFL and concluded that he was one of the best 5 QBs in the NFL. (Although this would be a hell of an attempt considering the last 21 games Carson has played in the NFL.)

If he really believes that Carson is a top 5 NFL QB, he is allowed to write that article. But you can't use that extreme opinion as the premise for an article that details his preferred Bengals' draft strategy.

What makes the assertion more ludicrous, is that we can all pretty much agree that the three best QBs in the NFL are Brees, Brady and Manning. If Hobson or any reader want to argue that Palmer is better than any of these three, fine. It's a free country. You can also argue that Houshmandzadeh was better than Ocho and that Lindsay Lohan looks better now than she did in Mean Girls. But, whatever the complex and idiotic algorithim one would use to arrive at that conclusion, is outside the realm of this humble blog.

So agreeing that Carson is not in the top 3, that leaves two spots.

As much as it pains me to say this, there is no way even a subjective observer can claim that Palmer has been better than Roethlisberger. Let's even use Hobson's brilliant and precise criteria:

Arm - I'm not a scout. Both of their arms are elite. Carson's arm is his greatest strength.Advantage: Carson

Physical Tools - Ben is stronger and faster than Carson. He is also very difficult to sack because he is the size of an ape.

Advantage: Ben

Experience - Carson has 86 total games, 2 playoffs, Ben has 87 total games including two Super Bowl titles.

Advantage: Ben

Track Record - Carson Palmer's career passer rating is 87.9. Ben's career passer rating is 91.7 Also, Carson's last 4 years of Passer ratings have been: 83.6, 69, 86.7, and 93.9 Roethlisberger's have been 100.5, 80.1, 104.1, and 75.4 .

Advantage: Ben

Now, I'm not saying that Ben is assuredly the 4th best QB in the NFL. I don't believe he is. However, there is no logical way, someone can argue that Carson has been better over the last few years. And it's also hard to argue that Carson at his best, is significantly better than Ben at his best.

So. That leaves one spot in the top 5.

In this 5th spot there are several worthy candidates. In terms of passer rating this year, Favre, Rivers, Rodgers, Schaub, Romo, Warner, E. Manning, McNabb, Flacco, Orton, Campbell all had higher passer ratings than Palmer did.

(Quick passer rating sidebar: No, I do not believe that one's passer rating is the end-all be-all evaluation of a quarterback. What I do believe is it uses one number to sum up 1)TDs thrown versus INTs thrown and 2)Yards per attempt. And I prefer it because it is pretty blind to a passing offense or a rushing offense, and pretty blind to a west coast offense or a downfield passing attack.)

Now, I'm not going to go crazy trying to dissect each one of these players. But let's just look at a snapshot of the irascible Phillip Rivers, His last 4 passer ratings: 104, 105, 83, and 93. The Chargers' record in those 4 seasons are 46-18 and while Carson's Cats have gone from a passing offense to a the second most run-heavy in the league, Rivers' team has not missed a beat while Tomlinson has become a non-factor and Sproles has been unable to handle the workload.

His record is significantly better than Carson's. His passer ratings are significantly better than Carson's. His coaches have put the burden of carrying the offense on his shoulders. How in the name of Jay Hayes, can you say that Carson has a better track record, experience, or physical skills than Phillip Rivers?!

There it is, Hobgoblin, 5 quarterbacks who have been wildly and significantly better than Palmer over the last 5 years. 5 QBs who's highest passer rating is higher than Carson's magical '05 campaign. And 5 quarterbacks who have won at least 3 playoff games (AND 4 HAVE WON SUPER BOWLS!)

Please Geoff. Come to the Pancake and debate that Palmer is better than one of these 5. Make some interesting points and prove it. But please, don't use your asinine, unresearched opinion be the basis for 500 words of drivel I have to read in Hobson's Corner.

-Jim Lippincott's Shorts

Tee-Bow's Big Adventure

Chick Ludwig of the esteemed "Typing Away with Chick" lecture series declares that Bengals fans should not be surprised to see the "Blessed One" Tim Tebow selected in the 2nd or, sit down for this one, the 1st round. His basis for the argument is twofold: that Tebow is the greatest college football player of all time (obviously he did not tune in for The Express: The Ernie Davis story) and that the Bengals blew the hair off Mel Kiper's head once before selecting David Klingler with the 6th overall pick despite having Boomer Esiason entering his 9th NFL season. He's right in some respects. Tebow may arguably be the greatest college football player of all time and the Bengals do need a backup quarterback as bad as Jim Lippincott's shorts need an extra 3 inches in length. However, Tebow is NOT the answer as our backup and definitely not in the 1st round. I'll go ahead and let the Jaguars make that mistake. They love long loopy deliveries from their quarterback (yep, that's an uncalled for jab at Byron Leftwich).

The truth of the matter is that there are a lot of average quarterbacks in this draft and even the supposed good ones have questions. Bradford has the shoulder, Claussen has the toe, terrible haircut, and questions about his leadership, and McCoy has the massive amount of victories but paucity of good games. These guys will go ahead of Tebow. I am a diehard best available player proponent so there is no good reason to reach that early for a player without a position. Zach Robinson, Jarret Brown, and Tony Pike would all be available in later rounds and probably have greater quarterback potential than Tebow.

Articles abound of his strong physical testing at the combine. The speed with which a quarterback runs around 3 cones or the height of his vertical jump don't tell us a thing about his ability to play the position. Josh McCown had the highest vertical jump and he is a horror show. Brian Billick in his book "More than a Game" describes how the combine messed his head up with Kyle Boller. He saw him throw 50 yards on a knee and fell in love with that big arm deciding to look past his 53% completion percentage in college. The combine plays with our hearts and minds. Did you all notice how dominant Vernon Gholston was in the Jets top rated D this year? Oh wait, he didn't play. This jumble of ideas gets to one point: the ability of a player to do things in his underwear has no bearing on his ability to play quarterback especially when those things don't involve throwing the ball to receivers (I just channeled my inner Marvin Lewis with that line).

More importantly, Tebow failed to change his delivery and footwork in college when Urban Meyer brought in NFL coaches to work with him. What will happen in pressure situations? He will revert to his animalistic instincts to throw a ball like a windmill. Can he be groomed? Sure. But we need a backup who can actually fill in adequately if the brittle boned Palmer gets dinged up.

I will never question Tebow's work ethic, desire, or passion. Can he be a great player? Maybe. He just won't be one in Stripes.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d-qodBTlMtA